
Issue No 28		27 August 1999

Satire

Liberals May Need to Sell of More of Telstra

By The Chaser

'We're running low in key marginals,' says Alston

CANBERRA (Friday): The Federal Liberal Party is considering taking action to overcome a huge slump in support in key marginal seats, even though the election is more than eighteen months away.

"We may have to sell off more of Telstra or some other public body to fund our marginal campaign," admitted Senator Richard Alston, one of the Ministers involved in the dolling out of funds from the Federation and Cultural Heritage Program, funded from the sale of the first third of Telstra.

According to senior Liberal sources, most of the second tranche of the Telstra sell-off will be used to reverse the huge slump in support in the seats which Kerry Chikarovski has visited during her "Listening Tour of NSW".

The scheme is a breakthrough for the Liberal Party as it is based on no financial input on their part. "It's a bonanza," admitted one senior Liberal, "we sell off the public institutions to the Australian public and then use the funs to convince those in marginals to vote for us so we can start the whole process again."

"I must admit though, we didn't think of it first. The Labor Party did. We just made it much, much bigger."

Sen. Alston admitted, however, that the medium-term viability of the scheme was under question. After we've sold off Telstra, there's not a lot more to sell. Of course, we can sell of the post-office and then the roads - but Kennett's already thought of that," he said.

Sen. Alston ruled out selling off the Reserve Bank of Australia. "We believe in preserving the independence of the Reserve Bank," he said. "Everyone knows that if it became a private business that its links would be far too close to the Liberal Party."

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  Issue 28 contents

Interview: Talking Turkey
A full transcript of an important interview with the Minister for Workplace Relations, the Hon Peter Reith.

Politics: What Reith told the ILO
Workers Online has recevied a transcript of roving statesman Peter Reith's talk to the ILO in Geneva. This one's not satire.

Unions: What the Workers Said
Actor Di Smith was one of nine ordinary workers who addressed this week's rally. Here's what she had to say.

International: Cancelling the Debt
Sign this Jubilee 2000 email petition now and tell the world's most powerful leaders to cancel the unpayable debts of the world's poorest countries by the year 2000.

Environment: Greens, CFMEU call for Action on Ceiling Dust
Residents and workers, associated with houses damaged in the freak hail storm that hit Sydney earlier this year, may have been exposed to harmful levels of toxic materials found in the ceiling dust of the damaged buildings

History: Eveleigh Railway Workshops celebration
Former workers and their families from the historic Eveleigh Railway Workshops in inner-Sydney are holding a picnic reunion and folk music festival on the site this Sunday.

Republic: Does the Republic Need a President?
It seems inevitable that Australia will eventually become a republic but do we need a president?

Satire: Liberals May Need to Sell of More of Telstra
'We're running low in key marginals,ďż˝ says Alston

Review: A Kind of Violence
Extracts from Yosi Berger's new book, telling the real stories behind workpalce safety.

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» Entitlements Focus Shifts Back to Woodlawn

» Fresh South Coast Ballot Called

» "Big Drum Up" For East Timor

» Eric Lee Public Forum

» Guest Report

» Sport

» Trades Hall

» Piers Watch

» Vizard: Net Content Is Vital

» No, No, No to MSN Model

» The Vizard deal. Is it another great deal for you!!!!???

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