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Issue No. 136 17 May 2002  
E D I T O R I A L

Modern Labour
Unveiling his 'modern Labor' pitch in the Budget in Reply, Opposition leader Simon Crean seemed very 1950s – when 'modern' was good in itself, like spray-cans, zippers and uncomfortable furniture.

F E A T U R E S

Interview: Licking the Wounds
Elder statesman Neville Wran expands on his review into Labor's performance at the last federal election.

Industrial: The Accidental Tourist
Standing on a picket line, just metres from the sleaziest part of Kings Cross, was not what Cheshire chemist David Lui had in mind when he was saving for his trip of a lifetime.

Unions: Stars And Stripes
Fly the flag, beat the war drum and screw the old, the sick and the poor – Peter Costello’s budget aims to emulate the worst aspects of American politics argues Noel Hester.

International: The Un-Promised Land
Andrew Casey lifts the lid on a little-known campaign to establish a Jewish homeland in the Kimberleys.

History: Mate Against Mate
Neale Towart trawls the records to recount some of the more acrimonious ALP State Conference debates.

Politics: Reith's Gong
Peter Reith's medal from the HR Nicholls Society overlooks a number of lamentable aspects about his character as Stuart Mackenzie reports.

Poetry: You've Got a Friend
A friend is someone who protects you, but in an interesting twist the Federal budget has redefined the notion of 'protection' by adding the word 'from'.

Review: War on Terror: Now Showing
Arnold Schwarznegger's latest flick Collateral Damage is spooky for many reasons, writes Tara de Boehmler.

Satire: Burmese Regime Makes Genuine Commitment To Pretence Of Change
The government of Myanmar (Burma) released democratic opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi today after a year and a half of house arrest.

N E W S

 Solidarity In The Post To East Timor

 Joy Wins For All Workers

 Workers Call Abbott On Democracy Bluff

 Wran Tells MPs: Talk to Unions

 Family First on Conference Agenda

 Cole Commission Declares Paper War

 Yarra Workers Thank Australia

 Budget Attacks Retirement Incomes

 PSA Challenges Carr’s Secrecy Shield

 Election Talk Aint Cheap

 Hotel Bosses Back Down On Pay

 Welfare Staff Strike Out At Harrassment

 Della Ups DIR Inspectorate

 Fake Notes Expose Government as Tax Cheat

 Labor Faces Acid Test on Asylum Seekers

 New Project Encourages Cultural Exchanges

 Bush’s Western Saharan War And Oil Deal

 Activists Notebook

C O L U M N S

The Soapbox
Border Solidarity
The Australian Workers Union's Bill Shorten explains why he drew a line in the cement in support of the CSL Yarra crew

The Locker Room
The Dangerous Life Of A Hot Dog Seller
Phil Doyle ruminates on the virtues of processed meats in the world of elite sports.

Bosswatch
The Bottom Line
Peter Costello wasn't the only one flaunting a budget deficit this week, as Rupert Murdoch announced the largest corporate write-down on record.

Postcard
East Timor Appeals For Help
At midnight on Sunday 19 May, the UN mandate in East Timor comes to an end and East Timor becomes a new independent nation.

Week in Review
The Spin Cycle
Budget week brings that much spin you half expect to see Shane Warne wheeled out as a spokesman on health, economics, or whatever else the combatants are blabbing about. Jim Marr lifts the covers.

L E T T E R S
 Gangsta Rap
 More May Day Hate Mail
 What Women Want
 Chucking a Wobbly
 Is Caustic Costello the Despot of Despair?
 East Timor: Independent Or Mendicant?
WHAT YOU CAN DO
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The Locker Room

The Dangerous Life Of A Hot Dog Seller


Phil Doyle ruminates on the virtues of processed meats in the world of elite sports.
 

ASSAULT CHARGES FOR AFL STARS - 15May02

KANGAROOS defender David King and former teammates Mark Roberts have been charged with assaulting a hot dog seller last year. It is alleged King, 30, Roberts, 36, and a third friend Darren Postlethwaite, 31, all of North Melbourne, attacked the food attendant after a dispute over a stolen hot dog. (News Ltd)

The Kangaroos have been having a bit of trouble with their sausages this year. Indeed, I was surprised the Big Sav wasn't involved.

Still, the magistrate's court is nothing compared to the ritual humiliation of the celebrity football match.

This column is old enough and ugly enough to remember that when you went to the Rugby League at Penrith Park you got there early and had a hot dog and watched the footy, all three grades if you could. There was nothing wrong with it, it never hurt anyone except the footballers and the hot dog sellers, and everyone went home happy.

That was before sport became part of the same industry that promotes professional wrestling the entertainment industry. So bugger the community, let's go to the big end of town.

Some small time egos are doing something for cancer and their flagging careers by relegating the Sydney AFL Curtain raiser to a non-event prior to the Swannies dust up against Footscray.

This is at the ground where punters aren't allowed on for a kick after the game!

There is the obligatory ex footballers; Warwick Capper, Neil Cordy, etc. They are joined by Mikey Robbins, Merrick Watts and assorted Big Brother personalities. Then there are some faces from other sports: Robbie Slater, the Australian Soccer international and ex Athlete Dean Capobianco (who's still playing footy in the Sydney Football Association!)

Then there's the A-List! Tim Bailey from Channel 10 weather and Tony Squires from the ABC's vastly over-rated The Fat.

This is not forgetting the eponymously monikered Blaire from Neighbours; and Christine and Sharon from Sister2Sister.

Who said Sydney didn't take its football seriously?

Speaking of selections, your humble correspondent would like to make himself available to the ACB selection panel as a specialist number 11 bat following reports that Glen McGrath was flagging his unwillingness to tour America's partner in the war on terror, Pakistan.

His bosom buddy and the king of phone sex, Shane Warne, has joined McGrath in getting all weak at the knees. This follows in the tradition of Australian Sporting 'Champions' being as soft as a chip when it comes to the real world - Two wankers down and nine to go.

This is never more evident as we slide toward the State of Onanism encounter. (For a quick belly-laugh type Onanism into a spell checker.) The game would mean something if the Super League war hadn't destroyed any illusion that loyalty was worth more than money in league. Now we've got City selecting country blokes, New South Wales selecting Kiwis. Why don't we just call it the Lets Get Pissed Midweek Cup and be done with it.

I'd rather watch a video tape of the 1981 WINFIELD Cup Grand Final.

(Now where's my free smokes Philip Morris?)

At the very least TV Ted Ellery leading Western Division to victory over Penrith in the 1974 Amco Cup Final.

I remember we trooped out to Lithgow and watched the semi final where Western Division knocked over a very strong Manly side in the snow. Graham Eadie copped a lot from the crowd.

It was a big, restless, ugly crowd, but this was anticipated in some quarters - there wasn't a hot dog seller in sight.

Read wierd libellous shit and craziness dressed up as sanity

at http://www.froggy.com.au/phildoyle


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