||Issue No. 136||17 May 2002|
Interview: Licking the Wounds
Industrial: The Accidental Tourist
Unions: Stars And Stripes
International: The Un-Promised Land
History: Mate Against Mate
Politics: Reith's Gong
Poetry: You've Got a Friend
Review: War on Terror: Now Showing
Satire: Burmese Regime Makes Genuine Commitment To Pretence Of Change
The Locker Room
Week in Review
More May Day Hate Mail
What Women Want
Chucking a Wobbly
Is Caustic Costello the Despot of Despair?
East Timor: Independent Or Mendicant?
The Locker Room
The Dangerous Life Of A Hot Dog Seller
ASSAULT CHARGES FOR AFL STARS - 15May02
KANGAROOS defender David King and former teammates Mark Roberts have been charged with assaulting a hot dog seller last year. It is alleged King, 30, Roberts, 36, and a third friend Darren Postlethwaite, 31, all of North Melbourne, attacked the food attendant after a dispute over a stolen hot dog. (News Ltd)
The Kangaroos have been having a bit of trouble with their sausages this year. Indeed, I was surprised the Big Sav wasn't involved.
Still, the magistrate's court is nothing compared to the ritual humiliation of the celebrity football match.
This column is old enough and ugly enough to remember that when you went to the Rugby League at Penrith Park you got there early and had a hot dog and watched the footy, all three grades if you could. There was nothing wrong with it, it never hurt anyone except the footballers and the hot dog sellers, and everyone went home happy.
That was before sport became part of the same industry that promotes professional wrestling the entertainment industry. So bugger the community, let's go to the big end of town.
Some small time egos are doing something for cancer and their flagging careers by relegating the Sydney AFL Curtain raiser to a non-event prior to the Swannies dust up against Footscray.
This is at the ground where punters aren't allowed on for a kick after the game!
There is the obligatory ex footballers; Warwick Capper, Neil Cordy, etc. They are joined by Mikey Robbins, Merrick Watts and assorted Big Brother personalities. Then there are some faces from other sports: Robbie Slater, the Australian Soccer international and ex Athlete Dean Capobianco (who's still playing footy in the Sydney Football Association!)
Then there's the A-List! Tim Bailey from Channel 10 weather and Tony Squires from the ABC's vastly over-rated The Fat.
This is not forgetting the eponymously monikered Blaire from Neighbours; and Christine and Sharon from Sister2Sister.
Who said Sydney didn't take its football seriously?
Speaking of selections, your humble correspondent would like to make himself available to the ACB selection panel as a specialist number 11 bat following reports that Glen McGrath was flagging his unwillingness to tour America's partner in the war on terror, Pakistan.
His bosom buddy and the king of phone sex, Shane Warne, has joined McGrath in getting all weak at the knees. This follows in the tradition of Australian Sporting 'Champions' being as soft as a chip when it comes to the real world - Two wankers down and nine to go.
This is never more evident as we slide toward the State of Onanism encounter. (For a quick belly-laugh type Onanism into a spell checker.) The game would mean something if the Super League war hadn't destroyed any illusion that loyalty was worth more than money in league. Now we've got City selecting country blokes, New South Wales selecting Kiwis. Why don't we just call it the Lets Get Pissed Midweek Cup and be done with it.
I'd rather watch a video tape of the 1981 WINFIELD Cup Grand Final.
(Now where's my free smokes Philip Morris?)
At the very least TV Ted Ellery leading Western Division to victory over Penrith in the 1974 Amco Cup Final.
I remember we trooped out to Lithgow and watched the semi final where Western Division knocked over a very strong Manly side in the snow. Graham Eadie copped a lot from the crowd.
It was a big, restless, ugly crowd, but this was anticipated in some quarters - there wasn't a hot dog seller in sight.
Read wierd libellous shit and craziness dressed up as sanity
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