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Issue No. 130 | 05 April 2002 |
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Lights Out on The Hill
Interview: Change Agent Industrial: Balancing the Books Unions: Breaking Out Politics: Pissing on the Light on the Hill History: Of Death and Taxes International: Now That's a Strike! Satire: Mugabe Voted Miss Zimbabwe: Denies Election Rigged Poetry: Flick Go The Branches Review: Red, Red Clydeside
The Soapbox Sport Week in Review Postcard
 Puplick's SermonChikka's LegacySocialists in the UKOrganising GloballyGrape DisappointmentUnion Resignations : Crisis or Opportunity?
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Tool Shed The Boy from Balmain
Anyone who has been through the Sussex Street doors has learnt Richo's old maxim on gauging support - "get them to look you in the eyes and swear on their mother's grave they'll back you and then cut the number in half". Then again, if the Balmain Boy had taken Richo's advice, he'd never have caused the spill that saw Chikka succumb to the same sword she had herself wielded so ruthlessly on Peter Collins before the 1995 election. As it was, once he announced the challenge he realized that not all nods equate to votes. He then spent a madcap three days trying to shore up support for his coup d'etat, emerging victorious by a single vote. In the mad scramble he was forced to promise the world to all and sundry, leaving him with a front-bench crowded with former foes and being forced to dump one of the few Libs with any talent - Fatty O'Barrell - to the reserves. I guess a win by one vote is as good as a landslide, but in the vipers nest that is the Liberals, a new leader needs more than marginal support. Now he's in the hot seat, how will he fare? Well no worse than Chikka who was up against it from Day One when she was caught out being prompted at a doorstop by Michael ('The Vertical Corgi') Photios. Brogden's looks and demeanor make for a mainstream, moderate campaign image. He only needs to look South to see what an unknown, but polite, challenge can do to a Premier seeking a third term. His early days in the job have been intriguing. While he's continued to chase that tired old whore Laura Norder, promising to extend the police state into the schoolyard, he's also backed the union movement's opposition to Treasurer Michael Egan's plans to privatize the strategic arm of Pacific Power. In a total u-turn on the Coalition's 1999 election policy, the Boy from Balmain says he'll maintain the entire power industry in public hands. Whether this remains a core election promise is yet to emerge, but his initial decision adds to the confusion about what he's doing in the Tory Party to start with. He can add to the confusion next week when he has the opportunity to block new regulations that would make it impossible for workers involved in armed hold-ups or other workplace violence to receive workers compensation. If he comes to the party on this one, he'll have convinced members of his old alma mata 'St Patricks' - including the Ferguson brothers and our own Mark Lennon - that he really is a stranger in a strange land. Either way, any Boy from Balmain who joins the Liberals and then rises to its leadership deserves a stint in the Shed - he's either joined the wrong party or is a class traitor. Either way, he's a Tool.
Nominate a Tool!
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