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Issue No. 130 | 05 April 2002 |
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Lights Out on The Hill
Interview: Change Agent Industrial: Balancing the Books Unions: Breaking Out Politics: Pissing on the Light on the Hill History: Of Death and Taxes International: Now That's a Strike! Satire: Mugabe Voted Miss Zimbabwe: Denies Election Rigged Poetry: Flick Go The Branches Review: Red, Red Clydeside
The Soapbox Sport Week in Review Postcard
 Puplick's SermonChikka's LegacySocialists in the UKOrganising GloballyGrape DisappointmentUnion Resignations : Crisis or Opportunity?
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Sport When The Axe Comes Down
'The five of us where nervous and I tell you that's a fact, for you should have seen the bastard who was carrying the axe' - 'A Tale They Won't Believe' Weddings Parties Anything David Foster has a shop at the Sydney Easter Show. Never heard of David Foster? Well you're missing out. David is Mr. Woodchopping in this country. With 178 World and 165 Australian titles to his credit it's surprising to learn that David has a fear of heights. But if you thought that was the strangest thing about woodchopping you'd be surprised. Watching the simian forms of the Northwest Tasmanian Axemen tag team (I kid you not) slouching through the showground it's easy to see where those jokes about Taswegians with close family ties come from. But your modern axeman defies the stereotype of a swarthy bloke looking for some feral to knock some sense into. Jason Wynyard, a fulltime axeman from New Zealand lists his favourite music as 'anything with rap'; while Harold Winkel is into cycling and restoring cars and likes Beethoven; Steven 'Chopper' Kirk is into Linkin Park; while the new age Dale Ryan is into Thai food and Madonna. Then again there's blokes with monikers like Kerry Head, aka Heady, who lists his hobbies as woodchopping and shooting, while Laurie O'Toole who has been the Victorian champion for 20 years straight hates rap music. These guys, with forearms like Mal Meninga's thighs, have been going toe to toe for the last fortnight at the Charles Moses Stadium at Olympic Park. When the woodchips fly it's no illusion that what you are seeing is a bit of honest graft turned into a competitive activity. It's an interesting idea this work as competition. It sure beats the over four billion (a rough estimate) horse events that feature on the arena next door. They say that people resemble their pets, or the other way around, and this is never better illustrated than when the landed gentry gather across the river from Riverview for the annual horsefest at 'The Show'. Herds of whinnying horsey types with the regulation collars turned up have been wandering the showgrounds amidst the sugar coated, red-cordial, carny mayhem. Buggies are big - with arcane events like 'Best two wheeled buggy and pony over fourteen hands but not greater than fifteen hands that's never been further south than Taralga'. Still, it's better than the rest of the shite that's on offer at the madhouse that Is Olympic Park over the fortnight around Easter. Horses deserve better than human beings, this is for certain. Tie The Knot has done more favours for this column's budget than was necessarily deserved or earned through the sort of hard graft that set David Foster on his way. He is a champion horse. His win in the Chipping Norton paid my first two weeks rent upon moving to Sydney earlier this year. He will be sorely missed. He is retiring to a paddock down in the Riverina apparently, which is a better fate than that which awaits the 99.9 per cent of horses that make up the racing 'industry'. If you're wondering what happens to them then look up on your wall and see if you use any Blu-Tac. If you do there's probably a bit of racehorse under that poster up there. It's been a big week for crowds. Not only have they descended upon the Show in their droves they're also back at the Rugby League, with the goodwill from the re-emergence of Souths and the surprising form of the Balmain Magpies being big draw cards. From all accounts Leichhardt Oval has an atmosphere that hasn't been seen since the days of Blocker Roach and Garry Jack. It's a place to get along to some time this year. While the Canterbury Poodles have become a predictable non event.
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