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March 2003   
F E A T U R E S

Poetry: If I Were a Rich Man
Through a distortion in the time-space continuum, we have found a recording showing how people a few years into the future will deal with health care.

Interview: League of Nations
ICFTU general secretary Guy Ryder on the war, core labour standards and why Australia is an international pariah.

Industrial: 20/20 Hindsight
A retrospective analysis of the Accord is needed to help develop future strategies. Is it worth trying again? And if so, what would need to be different?

Organising: On The Buses
A new rank and file leadership team is standing up for the harried bus driver in the run-up to the NSW State Election

Unions: National Focus
A gaze around the country reveals some inspiring and innovative organising initiatives, a fruitful connection with young workers in South Australia and some typically robust industrial campaigns reports Noel Hester.

History: The Banner Room
On the eve of it’s refurbishment, Jim Marr ventures into one of Trades Hall’s best kept secrets; the room that houses relics of labour’s halcyon days.

International: The Slaughter Continues
Chilling new statistics from Colombia's main trade union confederation CUT: nine trade unionists assassinated in the first two months of this year.

Legal: A Legal Case For War?
Aaron Magner looks at the legal implications of the crusade of the Coalition of the Willing

Culture: Singing For The People
When there’s a struggle for social justice, when a war is brewing or rights are being eroded, the first ones to pen, paper and protest are often the folkwriters.

Review: The Hours
On the eve of International Women’s Day Tara de Boehmler follows the tale of three women who would rather choose death than a life devoid of personal choice.

Poetry: I Wanna Bomb Saddam
Scarier than Star Wars, the latest weapon to be deployed in the battle for Iraq is the Singing Dubya.

Satire: Diuretic Makes Warne's Excuses Look Thin
Australian cricketer Shane Warne today admitted that he was still feeling the after effects of the diuretic he tested positive to.

C O L U M N S

The Soapbox
Workers Friend
Shock jock Alan Jones snubbed his Liberal mates to bucket the Cole Royal Commission and launch Jim Marr's book

The Locker Room
Boer Bore Boring
In the face of oppression Phil Doyle falls asleep in front of the TV

Guest Report
Dead Labor
The Hawke and Keating legacy is John Howard, Leonie Bronstein argues.

Seduction
Hands Off, Tony
John Della Bosca argues the NSW Industrial Relations System gives his State a competitive advantage.

Bosswatch
Groundhog Day
Another year, another round of corporate excess. Bosswatch returns from its summer slumber to find the same old dogs up to the same tricks.

E D I T O R I A L

Re-considering The Accord
The twentieth anniversary of the Hawke Government’s election provides an opportunity to ponder the Accord’s historical conundrum: how at the moment of the union movement’s greatest influence did it suffer its greatest loss of members?

N E W S

 Sacre Bleu – It’s “La Gong” Now

 Mum Raises Labour Hire Bar

 Investigate the Buggers

 NSW Libs Madder Than The Monk

 Kits Strike Terror into Govt

 West Braces for Shelling

 Executive Pay Under Senate Spotlight

 Clean Energy’s Jobs Bonus

 Zoo Workers Buck ‘Mercy Killing’

 Canberra Firefighters Win Union Backing

 Global Equity Under Spotlight

 Aussie Workers Fight Indian Child Labour

 Water on the Brain

 Activists Notebook

L E T T E R S
 Re - Core/Non Core promises.
 Strangers in the House
 Nursing Home Concerns
 Catholic Tastes
WHAT YOU CAN DO
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Satire

Diuretic Makes Warne's Excuses Look Thin

Extracted from The Chaser

Australian cricketer Shane Warne today admitted that he was still feeling the after effects of the diuretic he tested positive to.

The admission came only days after he tried to convince the Australian public that he took the banned masking agent because his Mum wanted him to look good on TV.

"Those diuretics are really powerful," said Warne. "Not only did I lose 4 kilograms, but my excuses have been left extraordinarily thin."

When asked to provide substantiation for his drug charge defence Warne claimed that he had had watertight evidence that proved his innocence, but that his dog had eaten it.

Warne did, however, use his latest press conference to clear up other questions such as why someone would take a dehydrating pill before undertaking a cricket match, noting that it was no more dehydrating than the slab of beer David Boon consumed before the matches he played.

Warne's mother has also expressed regret over the after effects of the drug.

"It was good that the diuretic made him look good on TV when he first used it," said Brigitte Warne. "Sadly though it has now just made him look very stupid on TV. And everywhere else."

Meanwhile Australian one day captain Ricky Ponting has sought to clarify his statement that Warne was either stupid or naïve for taking the diuretic. "I didn't mean because of the doping laws," said Ponting from the team hotel in Johannesburg. "I meant he would have to be naïve or stupid to think a pill would make him look good on TV. Nothing short of major cosmetic surgery would do that."

Despite the setback Warne was philosophical about his decision to take the banned diuretic.

"Sure, I may have lost my cricketing career," said Warne. "But I also lost my paunch."


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