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March 2003 | |
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Poetry: If I Were a Rich Man Interview: League of Nations Industrial: 20/20 Hindsight Organising: On The Buses Unions: National Focus History: The Banner Room International: The Slaughter Continues Legal: A Legal Case For War? Culture: Singing For The People Review: The Hours Poetry: I Wanna Bomb Saddam Satire: Diuretic Makes Warne's Excuses Look Thin
The Soapbox The Locker Room Guest Report Seduction Bosswatch
Re-considering The Accord
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The Locker Room Boer Bore Boring
****** Just when we thought the ascendant spirit in Australian society had been reached by Shane Warne's Mum, there was Little Alex Downer giving us a lesson in how to be supercilious courtesy of crikey.com.au They say there is no such thing as ugly Americans, only ugly Texans. Well. If this is true then there is no such thing as ugly Australians, only ugly Australian cricketers. It was nice to see "babykiller" Healy singing the praises of the robust Zimbabwean regime during the Australians rather redundant performance in the World Cup, and Tony Grieg's superfluous comment on the crowd size at Bulaweyo was even more bizarre - both contributions bandied about without any reference as to why this event wasn't staged in the Zimbabwean opposition heartland of Harare. Indeed, it all existed as if Jim Maxwell had ever ventured onto the streets. The ABC's Maxwell made some amazing observations of day to day life in the shadow of the world's most farcical sporting contest, while the contribution of Tubby Taylor and the rest of the television commentary team covering the World Cup has been full of the usual grating ascendant superiority complexes. Only the wireless provided any relief from the brain dead carpings of Kerry Packer's spruikers. What a bizarre event this has been. Given that one day cricket is about as graceful as a leaking oil tanker it has been a peculiarly painful experience to watch cricket's answer to Llittle Lleyton Hewitt, "Bucky" Lee put in some ordinary performances, and Glenn McGrath claim the best figures in a one day international against such compelling opposition as Namibia. As for the spinner Hogg, he is a goose. Nasser Hussain is the only person to emerge from this travesty with anything resembling a reputation, even if it was self interest that prompted the Poms to hide under their beds. Nasser has done the right thing and resigned. The two hundred and eighty other cricketers in the tournament should follow his example and get real jobs. Thank god that so many Australians died to keep China British, or civilization may never have been able to enjoy this spectacle. The other great spectacle has been the AFL, who have certainly made a spectacle of themselves with this Loan Shark Cup. Footy is a simple game. You kick the ball between the big sticks. Then some marketing nut gets a hold of it and you end up with the Supercalifragillisticexpialadoscious goal, which is fifty points if you kick it from the carpark. For gods sake, if it's not broken don't fix it. One day cricket, however, is broken. And no one can fix that. Someone should do the right thing and take it out the back behind the shed and put a bullet in its head. It is the only humane course of action. Then we can get back to serious things, like footy. That's footy where a goal is six points, even if you kick it from the next suburb. Phil Doyle - handballing in front of goal Sporting Event Of The Century: Katoomba Lithgow Mountain Lions v Charles Sturt University Bulldogs, Lithgow High, Saturday 15 March, 2pm.
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