
Issue No 72		06 October 2000

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Sport

World Class Babble

By Chris Owen

Our Olympic Aussie commentators went for gold in the Games against a strong US commentary line-up in a competition based on the kitsch, the clichï¿½, and ignorance of facts.

Competitors required a brazen attitude that allowed for extreme positiveness, a reckless abandonment of the facts, ability to tiptoe around social issues, and above all the inability to critically reflect upon their own performances.

The brash young, and strikingly amateurish, Andrew Daddo got Australia away to a flier early on the morning before the opening ceremony with a comment that set a high benchmark for the competition..."No-one would mind being stuck in that traffic knowing Greg Norman was carrying the Olympic flame across the Harbour bridge up ahead of them." A comment that surely would have raised the eyebrows of the world record holding US commentary team let alone the five kilometres of commuters who had left for work that morning without the faintest idea of what lay ahead.

It wouldn't be long before the US launched their attack on Olympic commentary gold led by CNN Today show host Matt Lauer... "It is hard to believe anything could survive in the harsh Australian outback. However Aborigines have lived out here for thousands of years by simply adapting to the environment". SIMPLY? I'm surprised my spell check doesn't recognise the name of this truly arrogant world leader in uneducated commentary.

The US again raised the bar though a runner for the vocally impaired Chelsea Clinton who, unable to speak for herself through a mouthful of teeth, left it up to her spokesperson to cheerfully blurt the most patronising of comments ... "Bill and Hillary are very sorry they were unable to attend the games, they would have loved to come down under but they have a competition of their own going on back home...its called the US presidential election". Thanks for that...hey I've got two words to describe Australian culture--how quaint.

Australia fought back well with Raylene Boyle utilising a skill which many thought was lost from the art of Olympic commentary--audacity. After dropping the baton in their heat, the Australian womans 4X100 meters relay team endured an absolute drubbing on live television by Boyle who went on to despairingly explain how it should have been done. Were those the same "lack of fundamental abilities" and "shining examples of how not to baton change" employed by Raelene when she dropped the baton in the 1972 Olympic Games. Top points for degree of difficulty, an awesome display of one forgetting ones own past when one is berating another.

Talking of one's abilities, one shall never forget the performance by the equestrian commentator Lucinda Green in keeping Australian commentary in the medal hunt. "One must not do that... one must do this whilst riding in an Olympic equestrian event". The call cries of the honorary Australian who, in a relentless display of pompous arrogance, was able to encapsulate everything privileged and snotty nosed about a sport that only .0000000001 percent of the world population could afford to become involved in. An inspiring performance by Green who overcame the difficulties of changing grammatical style half way through her campaign, changes spurred on by her coach Kerry Stokes who advised Green that, "one will not be understood in Australia if one speaks like that."

CNN stalwart Peter Sambervic was to put the US back in the lead in the final days of competition with his comment to a co-host... "Have you noticed how big this country is?" A touch of genius from a man old enough to know better, Sambervic's comment leaving many followers of the competition to ask whether the US could be beaten with only a short time to go and so few clichï¿½s and stupidities left to unearth.

However, it was to be the strikingly amateur Andrew Daddo, who had earlier set the host nation off to a flying start, who would bring it up the rear and cross the line at the final moment to win gold for Australian commentators. Daddo was tantalising at the athletes awards ceremony last Monday night as he combined thoughtlessness, faux pas, and ill-information with repetition, buzz words and a complete lack of knowledge as to what is going on in this country, to say on closing... "Amazing, an incredible accomplishment by all, a great period in Australia's incredibly short history."

Enough said.

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Issue 72 contents

Interview: Taking It To The Union Busters
ACTU Assistant Secretary Richard Marles talks to Workers Online about turning back the anti-union sentiment growing in the business community, responsible unionism and the sense of fun to be found at the ACTU.

International: The White Knights
The International Labour Organisation has become the great hope for those fighting to give globalisation a human face. Australian Bob Kyloh is one of those working with trade unions within the ILO to make it happen.

Politics: Industrial Democracy for Australia
Glenn Patmore argues we need new forms of employee representation in the workplace to broaden employee participation.

Unions: Behind The Scenes
In a small office at Homebush Bay, as the world focused on all that was positive about our games, Unions 2000 and SOCOG officials worked tirelessly to ensure that no worker was ripped off. Chris Christoudoulou reports.

Satire: Parade of Icons ï¿½Could Have Included Even More Ex-Aussiesï¿½ Say Critics
The selection of Greg Norman, Paul Hogan and Elle Macpherson to represent Australia in the ï¿½Parade of Iconsï¿½ during the Closing Ceremony of the Sydney Games last night has prompted a storm of complaints from other famous former Australians.

Review: Elliott Smiths Figure 8
Smith is basically the secret love child of the fab four and itï¿½s so blatantly obvious. Thatï¿½s not a bad thing because one thing Lennon and McCartney were reknown for was there ability to pen catchy tunes.

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» Australian History To Be Buried Alive