
Issue No 72		06 October 2000

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Satire

Parade of Icons “Could Have Included Even More Ex-Aussies” Say Critics

By The Chaser

The selection of Greg Norman, Paul Hogan and Elle Macpherson to represent Australia in the "Parade of Icons" during the Closing Ceremony of the Sydney Games last night has prompted a storm of complaints from other famous former Australians.

Speaking from his home in the Hollywood, actor Mel Gibson said he was "like, really jerked off, man" not to have been selected as an Australian icon. "I've moved away from Australia years before Elle did", says Gibson, "So why did I miss out? I'm as Australian as apple pie".

Art critic Robert Hughes reacted to the decision to exclude him from the Games with typical vitriole. "It's typical of the provincial attitude of those colonial hicks that they should fail to recognise my awesome achievements in an obscure and elitist field", Mr Hughes said in a statement. But Games organisers have rejected Hughes' criticism saying that they prepared a float for Hughes in the Parade of Icons. The float was withdrawn from the parade, however, because Hughes kept driving it on the wrong side of the Olympic Park track.

Many other former Australians have joined the chorus of disapproval. The New South Wales government is said to be particularly concerned by a complaint from Rupert Murdoch over his exclusion. The media magnate told reporters, "I'm an Australian to the core and I'm deeply committed to my country. If it wasn't so financially inconvenient, I'd still be an Australian citizen today". Murdoch became a resident of the USA for tax reasons some year ago. He now supports American teams at the Games, but says he only does so "for tax reasons". Speaking yesterday, Murdoch said he had built up his media empire for all Australians, adding "I think that all Australians benefit from my success in a strange, intangible and certainly non-pecuniary way". Mr Murdoch listed his contributions to Australia as including the Titanic ride at Fox Studios (Sydney) and the removal of several major cricket matches from free-to-air television.

But the most withering criticisms of the Closing Ceremony came from suprising sources. Speaking near Olympic Park in the maximum security sector of Silverwater Prison, convicted backpacker murderer Ivan Milat threatened to kill Michael Knight when he saw that he was not an Australian icon. "I turned the eyes of the world to Sydney long before the Olympics came here, so it's disappointing not to be remembered" said Milat, who killed a number of European backpackers in the 1990s. "I'm sure I would have been there if it wasn't for Childers".

But creative director of the Opening and Closing Ceremonies Ric Birch has rejected the criticisms. In the wake of the rapturous reviews creative director of his work, Birch has revealed what he was trying to achieve with Olympic pageants. "Australia has always had suffered from cultural cringe, the idea that we're not good enough and that you can't stay in Australia and be world class. So I wanted to confront that making a very bold, proud statement celebrating the Australia I knew before I moved to the US".

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  Issue 72 contents

Interview: Taking It To The Union Busters
ACTU Assistant Secretary Richard Marles talks to Workers Online about turning back the anti-union sentiment growing in the business community, responsible unionism and the sense of fun to be found at the ACTU.

International: The White Knights
The International Labour Organisation has become the great hope for those fighting to give globalisation a human face. Australian Bob Kyloh is one of those working with trade unions within the ILO to make it happen.

Politics: Industrial Democracy for Australia
Glenn Patmore argues we need new forms of employee representation in the workplace to broaden employee participation.

Unions: Behind The Scenes
In a small office at Homebush Bay, as the world focused on all that was positive about our games, Unions 2000 and SOCOG officials worked tirelessly to ensure that no worker was ripped off. Chris Christoudoulou reports.

Satire: Parade of Icons “Could Have Included Even More Ex-Aussies” Say Critics
The selection of Greg Norman, Paul Hogan and Elle Macpherson to represent Australia in the “Parade of Icons” during the Closing Ceremony of the Sydney Games last night has prompted a storm of complaints from other famous former Australians.

Review: Elliott Smiths Figure 8
Smith is basically the secret love child of the fab four and it’s so blatantly obvious. That’s not a bad thing because one thing Lennon and McCartney were reknown for was there ability to pen catchy tunes.

» Interstate Rail Workers Rebel Against AWAs

» Australia Post Exposes Staff to Bomb Danger

» Alliance Builds Against Commonwealth Bank

» Carr Lauds Union Movement For Golden Olympics

» Big Brother Unwelcome In Child Care Centres

» Council Workers Win Community Language Allowance

» Fiji Facing Dictatorship

» Home Care Win Recognises Community Contribution

» Pressures Mount on Truckies

» Industrial Action Looms At IBM Global

» In Your Face Provocateurs

» Putting A Stop To Workplace Intimidation

» Australian History To Be Buried Alive