||Issue No. 312||23 June 2006|
Striking Out Rights
Interview: Rock Solid
Industrial: Eight Simple Rules for Employing My Teenage Daughter
Politics: The Johnnie Code
Energy: Fission Fantasies
History: All The Way With Clarrie O'Shea
International: Closer to Home
Economics: Taking the Fizz
Unions: Stronger Together
Review: Montezuma's Revenge
Poetry: Fair Go Gone
The Locker Room
Don Randall is a man with the common touch.
The Federal Member for Canning is so impressed with his Perth electorate that he decided to spend a month in Italy getting to know it better.
He is abreast with the needs and aspirations of the ordinary folk in Florence, which is just as well, as the citizens of the southeastern suburbs of Perth will be less than impressed by their representative in Canberra.
Randall has had enough of his electorate being paid decent incomes.
In a rambling speech where he railed against safety laws and sick leave last November, our Tool Of The Week labelled WorkChoices as "an opportunity for future generations of Australians in terms of prosperity".
According to Don Randell union opposition to WorkChoices centred on workers wanting to go to work drunk and stoned.
Neatly sidestepping logic or reality, Randall was left desperately searching for a wedge when WorkChoices turned out to be as popular as ice blocks in July.
So it was that our fearless representative absconded to Perugia in central Italy to find out crueller and more bizarre ways to treat anyone who looks different to us.
Yes, the man who put WA in WASP, was learning the fine points of waterboarding and other fun and fashionable ways to deal with Asylum seekers as part of his month long sabbatical from a dreary Canberra winter.
Randall certainly honed his sophisticated political understanding while munching on tira misu, quaffing the vino and generally soaking up the Dolce & Gabbana and la Dolce Vita.
On his return, Randall was able to describe anyone to the left of Attila the Hun as an "Anarchist" AND keep a straight face.
It must have been that sophisticated renaissance culture back at the villa that inspired him.
Some uncharitable souls would suggest that the current Liberal Federal Government is little more than a whited sepulchre framed in the rabidly dissembling visage of Dear Leader Howard, and that behind him stand a flock of useless drones that couldn't run a tap, let alone the country.
Luckily Don Randall isn't one of them.
Our Tool Of The Week isn't anywhere up to that standard.
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