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Issue No. 128 | 15 March 2002 |
Why I'm Marching
Interview: The Wedge Buster History: Fighting for Peace Unions: Rattling the Gates International: Facing Retribution Technology: How Korean Workers Used The Web Industrial: Working Futures Review: Rumble, Young Man, Rumble Satire: GG Survival Doomed: Fox-Lew In Charge Of Rescue Bid Poetry: PSST
Girl's Maiming Sparks Entry Plea State Law Push For Virgin Sites Outrage at Privatisation by Decree Woomera - Flames, Razors, Rope and Despair Asset-Stripping Sparks Walk-Out Opposition Grows Over Howard's Freedom Attack Heffernan Prompts �Right of Reply� Demands Levy Struck to Support Rockhampton Meatworkers ACTU Assists former Ansett Staff
The Soapbox The Locker Room Week in Review
On Inequality Harmony Day
Labor Council of NSW |
Satire GG Survival Doomed: Fox-Lew In Charge Of Rescue Bid
The Fox-Lew consortium says it has a proud history of attempting to save Australian institutions that are clearly doomed. The pair has assured Dr Hollingworth that they will give him every impression that his position is safe, before unexpectedly abandoning him at the eleventh hour. "We've told Peter we're absolutely committed to making this deal work," said the wealthy Melbourne businessmen in a joint statement. "Not only will we save his job and rescue his reputation, but we'll also be the first to deny any responsibility when it all comes unstuck." Fox-Lew said the rescue bid is dependent on securing vital leases at Yarralumla. The deal will also rely on substantial co-operation from the Commonwealth government. "We're relying on them not to sack him," Hollingworth's administrators said. Lindsay Fox said the government has so far indicated its support for keeping Hollingworth in the air, but questioned whether their rhetoric might not contradict their real intention of keeping their options open and secretly wishing for a different outcome. Formally launching their rescue bid yesterday afternoon, Lindsay Fox and Solomon Lew characteristically put on T-shirts that were far too small for them, and jointly squeezed their heads out of a tiny church window for a photo opportunity. Analysts claimed that the rescue bid may fail due to a market oversaturated by gaffe ridden liars. "The government alone can sustain the public demand for leaders who continually let them down," said one analyst. A rival rescue bid for Hollingworth by Richard Branson's Virgin company is now unlikely to proceed, amid concerns that Virgin and Anglican Bishops rarely go together.
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