Issue No 118 | 02 November 2001 | |
SatireLocksmith Promises "Greater Security" If ElectedExtracted from The Chaser
A Melbourne locksmith has agreed to run for federal parliament, campaigning on the key issue of security. Speaking at his policy launch yesterday, the locksmith said he was the best man qualified to provide security at home to all Australians. He claimed he had more experience in double-latch locks and window bars than either of the main parties, and that he was the natural man to lead the country in these nervous times. "Security at home. Security in the garage," he said. "I'll fix you up with the locks you need at an affordable price." The locksmith has also promised in his first term in office to cut taxes, and cut keys.
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Interview: Flying High ACTU Secretary Greg Combet on saving Ansett jobs, defeating Howard and wooing a new generation of unionists. Corporate: Howard's List of Shame ACTU President Shaharn Burrow runs through the litany of corporate collapses and down-sizes that have cut a swathe through the Australian community. Campaign Diary: Week Four: The Battle Lines Drawn It was a week that saw the leaders launch their campaigns, kiss lots of babies and battle for space with a Holy Jihad. Industrial: Desperately Seeking Solutions They might not call it 'industrial relations' in the spin of modern politics, but all the major parties have released plans that will affect the way we work over the next three years. Economics: Manufacturing Prosperity Neale Towart looks at the hidden debate of the election campaign - the degree of intervention government should take through Industry Policy. History: War And Politics The Conservatives are trying to wage war and win the election. The pundits say it�s a tried and true recipe for electoral success. The 1940 federal poll suggests otherwise. International: Globalising Labour On the eve of the International Metalworkers Federation Congress general secretary Marcello Malentacchi argues all nations need to retain a manufacturing base. Review: Security - Who Needs it? What does it mean to be secure? Should we even need to ask? In his new book, Anthony Burke asks the tough questions. Satire: Locksmith Promises "Greater Security" If Elected A Melbourne locksmith has agreed to run for federal parliament, campaigning on the key issue of security.
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