
Issue No 58		16 June 2000

LaborNET	Ask Neale	Tool of the Week

Satire

More Pacific Coups Forecast

Extracted from The Chaser

The popular holiday resort of Great Keppel Island is bracing itself for a bloody coup, following the rash of rebel uprisings in other parts of the Pacific.

"We need to be on guard," said resort manager Shavi Mahatma, who was keen to stress that, despite his name, he is not Indian.

"Great Keppel is very vulnerable right now. People resent our wide range of water activities, the incredible nightlife and competitive weekend packages."

Resort management has taken immediate precautions against a rebel attack, by erecting barricades made out of small cocktail umbrellas. It is also seeking to marshal an impromptu naval defence force, comprising hire catamarans and windsurfers.

Assistance has also been offered by the Club Med resort on nearby Lindeman Island, which has sent its Entertainment Crew to ward off rebels by singing "Agadoo".

Region analysts say the Whitsundays has not experienced such upheaval since "A Current Affair" ambushed the Paxtons on South Mole.

The instability has already caused a small drop-off in tourism, forcing some island resorts to wind down their facilities. "We've stopped all our activities except for the table tennis," admitted Daydream Island boss Ken Davies. "Actually, that's the only activity we ever have."

Guests on Great Keppel Island say the threat of civil unrest has definitely put a dampener on their holiday. "We came here to get wrecked, sure," said holidaymaker Justin Owens. "But not quite that wrecked."

"People are scared to go out and play volleyball, or enjoy an exotic daiquiri in the novelty pool bar. No one's even rooted a member of staff yet."

Resort management says it has been trying to get in contact with the Defence Department, to arrange an HMAS frigate to take guests off the island - for snorkeling excursions to the reef. "We've asked for a glass-bottom frigate," said Mr Mahatma. "With a good open deck for coits."

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  Issue 58 contents

Interview: After the Gold Rush
NSW building union leader Andrew Ferguson on life after the Olympics and why Che Guevara is his political hero.

Unions: MUA Women's Policy Back on Course
A hard hitting report by the Maritime Union's women's delegate Sue Gajdos prompts the union to, once again, promote its female members.

Politics: Raising the Rafters
Opposition leader Kim Beazley delivered a stirring address to last weekend's NSW ALP State Conference. Here's every word of it.

History: Time and Tide
Greg Patmore surveys the themes of Working Lives in Regional Australia in this introduction to the latest issue of 'Labour History'

International: Fair in the Land of the Free
More than 20,000 immigrant workers, union members and community and religious leaders packed a Los Angeles Sports Arena on June 10 in support of immigrant workers' rights.

Environment: Life's a Beach
Workers are invited to join an environmental campaign to protect the coastal communities and coastline from exploitation by multinationals.

Satire: More Pacific Coups Forecast
The popular holiday resort of Great Keppel Island is bracing itself for a bloody coup, following the rash of rebel uprisings in other parts of the Pacific.

Review: At the Barricades
Denis Evans' photo essay on the Patrick dispute captures the camaraderie on the Melbourne picket lines - solidarity that, like solder, welded workers and their communities together into a human barricade.

Crackdown on Fiji Workers Intensifies
Building Industry Braces for Post-Games Slump
Call Centre Battle Hots Up
More Sackings Spark Entitlements Showdown
Carr Establishes Labor Hire Inquiry
High Court Puts Workers At Reith's Mercy
Miners Hit the Streets Over Death Threats
Unions Urged to Reignite Republic Debate
Tips Rip-Off Sparks Hotel Picket
Community Workers to Lay Siege to Parliament
Water Workers Accept 14% Pay Rise
Counselling for Workplace Accidents
Korean Food Festival is Union Business
Che Helps Doctors Save Lives
Maude Barlow Public Lecture - Sydney June 27