
Issue No 109		31 August 2001

LaborNET	Ask Neale	Tool of the Week

Satire

Tampa refugees ask to go home: "It's less inhumane than Australia"

Extracted from The Chaser

The 460 asylum seekers on board the Tampa freight vessel have demanded to be taken back to their oppressive homelands, which they now realise aren't nearly as hostile as Australia.

After almost a week stranded off Christmas Island, with no hope of Australian help, the refugees have learnt that Afghanistan and Iran are extremely humane countries by contrast.

Prime Minister John Howard has repeatedly told the captain of the Tampa that he's not prepared to let the ship dock in Australia until after the federal election. He's ordered the ship to linger offshore for as long as it takes for his approval rating to eclipse the Opposition's.

Mr Howard said that, like Harold Holt before him, he's willing to stake his Prime Ministership on a sustained challenge out at sea.

Earlier the government's Defence Minister Peter Reith attempted to blame the freighter's inability to dock on the inefficiency of Australian wharves.

Mr Reith later deployed a number of Australian SAS officers on to the vessel, where they sought to subject the refugees to a series of traditional naval bastardization rituals.

Initial military plans to airlift the refugees out of Australian waters by helicopter were put on hold when it was revealed that the assigned pilot was Shirley Strachan.

Round-the-world yachtswoman Isabelle Autissier had also tried to help ferry the passengers, before she herself got into trouble, and had to be rescued by the already crowded Tampa.

It's believed the marooned refugees have requested additional facilities on board the ship, such as a shuffleboard court and a large open deck for coits.

Some of the asylum seekers have considered making their new permanent homes on the Tampa which, given the rate of diplomatic progress, might be their only option.

Indonesia last night remained steadfastly unwilling to negotiate. President Megawati said that even though the refugees were rescued in Indonesian waters, from a sinking Indonesian boat, provided by Indonesian people smugglers, the matter has nothing whatsoever to do with Indonesia.

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  Issue 109 contents

Interview: Union Power
Electrical Trades Union state secretary Bernie Riordan surveys the union movement's troubled relationship with Labor.

International: Spreading the Word
Veronica Apap profiles Kamal Fadel and the battle he is fighting for the independence of his homeland of West Sahara.

E-Change: Training for a Wired Workforce
Education is the entry point into the new economy; but the system still reflects an industrial age view of the world.

Unions: AWU Defends Millennium Train Workers
Mark Hearn looks at how a group of Newcastle workers are setting a new standard in the railways.

Politics: Chatting with Enemies of the State
Brazils MST is the largest and most radical social movement in the Americas. The CFMEUï¿½s Phil Davey drops in for a chat.

History: Struggle and Inspiration
Rowan Cahill argues that it is only through understanding history that we can make sense of the present plight of workers.

Technology: A World Without Microsoft
Heather Sharp argues that all technologies involve political choices and moral values. Computer software is no exception, and it is Bill Gates' choices that dominate.

Review: Let There Be Rock
Kid Rock and Beer Bong, Australiaï¿½s Oldest Rock Fans review the weekï¿½s music and political events from the safety of the bar stool.

Satire: Tampa refugees ask to go home: "It's less inhumane than Australia"
The 460 asylum seekers on board the Tampa freight vessel have demanded to be taken back to their oppressive homelands, which they now realise arenï¿½t nearly as hostile as Australia.

» The Meaning of Working Life ï¿½ The Answer is 7.1!

» Unions Stand Up for National Soul

» MUA Salvages Some Pride

» Common Law Report Plea ï¿½ Make It Public

» Maintenance Contract 'Could Put Lives at Risk'

» Tax Office's GST Scam - 10 Per Cent Off!

» Della Moves on Pay Slip Concerns

» Authorities Scotch Bra-Burning

» Manusafe Decision Faces Appeal

» Orange Finally Saved from Closure

» Award Win For Telco Workers

» Abbott Clears Way for Lower Wages

» SDA Defeats 'Obscene' Westfield Parking Fees

» Labor Calls On Abbott To Abide By Convention

» Nurses Highlight Staff Shortages

» Keystone Cops At Wonderland Protest

» Call for Change in Award Increases

» Green Tin Box Values Gone At Commonwealth

» Dance for Independence

» Get Ready to Wobble

» Activist Notebook

» STOP PRESS: ITF says PM Tampa action illegal