||Issue No. 278||26 August 2005|
A Secret Country
Interview: On Holiday
Unions: One Day Longer
Industrial: Never Mind the Bollocks
Politics: Spun Out
Economics: If the Grog Don't Get You ....
History: Taking a Stand
International: The Split
Legal: Pushing the Friendship
Poetry: Simple Subtractions
Review: Sydney Trashed
The Locker Room
Proof in the Pudding
Safeguards Already There
In every bully beats the heart of a coward.
The man who green lighted employers using dogs and thugs against their own employees found the kitchen a little too warm this week.
He had an appointment with some fellow Australians curious to know why he could cruise through university getting subsidised boxing lessons to deal with his inferiority complex, while the current generation of students are denied anything that could be misconstrued as developing them as social beings.
This presented Tony with a conundrum. Should he defend his own hypocrisy before a body of students? Or should he cower, shivering, in a foetal position under the desk?
Happily Brother Abbott chose the latter.
Then came the problem of justifying a policy position which is surely the bravest Sydney has seen since Governor Bligh hid under the bed from Captain Johnston of the NSW Corps in 1808.
Luckily, Tony "The Warringah Warrior" Abbott found someone to blame. That was the NSW Police. He got them to write a note saying Tony couldn't attend as he had a bone in his leg, and this was dutifully delivered up to the sceptical teacher.
Unfortunately for Tony "Guts Or Glory" Abbott it emerged that he had written the note himself, with a little help from some kind people in the NSW Police Force, who were lent on by Tony "Basher" Abbott to say it was unsafe for him to come out from under his desk.
Tony spoke the truth when he claimed that it was a sad day for democracy, but not as sad as the day he was born, but that's another ugly story.
None of this pathetic display should be surprising for a man who claims that people in detention centres are better off because they are safe from violence. No doubt from the being attacked by Tony "The Toecutter" Abbott.
As for the students who missed out on the entertainment of watching Tony "Pile Driver" Abbott display his debating skills, well, life isn't about enjoying yourself. If it was then Tony would have had more than one illegitimate child.
Of course, given that father Tony alternated between sending himself blind and prostrating himself before the altar, this psychotic behaviour should come as no surprise.
Lets just hope Tony's policy of do as I say, not as I do, is replicated across the entire Howard Government.
With brave pillows of society like Tony leading from the rear is it any wonder that General Howard and Lord Downer of Baghdad have bequeathed their successful foreign affairs policy, or that the minister for workers refuses to meet workers, or that our lawyer of a treasurer can't count.
Meanwhile, in the blue trunks, weighing in at 42 kilos, is ideologically based policy, while in the red trunks, weighing 198 kilos, is reality.
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