Interview: Head On
Unions: Do You Have a Moment?
Industrial: Vital Signs
Economics: Taxing Times
Environment: It Ainít Necessarily So
History: Melbourneís Hours
Immigration: Opening the Floodgates
Review: Pollie Fiction
Poetry: The Cabal
The Locker Room
The Cowra Clause
Belly Spreads The Word
Lying Lies And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
The Locker Room
My Country Right Or In Lane Five
Patriotism now means advocating plunder - Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy
Darryl Eastlake and Dean Lukin were about as funny as a dead baby's doll during the recent Australian Games, but this isn't a surprise in itself.
That Eastlake is a loud-mouthed gorilla with the IQ of a jellybean is no secret; that the fisherman from Port Lincoln thinks he's a comedian is a bit embarrassing though.
Maybe Dean has been suffering from attention deprivation since Makybe Diva owner Tony Santic replaced him as Port Lincoln's most famous export this side of tuna tossing.
But I think the Channel Nine games coverage, which would have done North Korea proud, left us all with a bad taste in our mouths.
If sport is popular because it is the last great unpredictable drama, then Nine is intent on guaranteeing the audience a happy ending every time. After all, what could be better than coming fourth? That's news isn't it?
What the coverage did do was expose what happens to a company of yes-men when the emperor finally falls on his sword. The noddies over at Willoughby showed a clueless embrace of what they thought their deceased leader would like, except even KP had a keen eye for the dramatic. He knew when to switch from the cricket to the news and when to not. He knew that drama needs conflict, and how can you have conflict if we only hear from one trench.
It seems the 'hands on' style of management appears to have stymied any creative juices at the big network.
In the end it was as exciting as Green Left Weekly, without the functionality of being made from paper.
Which comes as a bit of an omen for future presentation of sports. If the executive producers of the Commonwealth Games can be so half-witted without the guiding hand of the Goanna, then what future cricket?
Packer straddled cricket in the same way that Kissinger straddled the third world in the early seventies, often with the same outcome.
The Australians bounced back from difficult situations in South Africa and won, but all did not seem happy. Nothing a person could put a finger on, but someone is certainly stealing the pies over at Camp Cricket.
What happened on the South African leg of the tour that left us with the bedraggled sad sacks in Bangladesh?
Sure, the Banga Boys got off to a bolter and had the pluck and determination to make the most of their extraordinary start, yet it was only the two tourists who missed out on matches on the dark continent that seemed to make an impression: SCG MacGill and the mullet, Gillespie.
Is Warne breaking down? Clarks and Lee seem lethargic. Martyn is a passenger. It is symptomatic of a team with internal divisions, or at least with distractions beyond the boundary. If they exist, it would be good to know what they are.
Distractions in Australia have moved onto winter codes, where the thirteen a side game is making something of a resurgence. Pronounced dead by this column and other, lesser, mortals, Rugby League is back again as the game in town in Sydney.
The Swans hangover is helping. Watch the bandwagon turn into the donkey and cart by the Queens Birthday Weekend if they don't turn it around.
Like coke-addled gamblers in Las Vegas; Sydneysiders love a winner. They are immune from irony and have about as much understanding of overcoming adversity as Paris Hilton. What do you expect from people who are fascinated by the price of their house. We are not talking poetry here, bubba.
As a result a winless Swans will suffer and the Waratahs and anyone who can string three wins together in the League will prosper.
For anyone else, let's just hope your sport is covered by Nine: That way they will only let you see the good bits.
Phil Doyle - disputing a line call in the third set
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