The Official Organ of LaborNET
click here to view the latest edition of Workers Online
The Official Organ of LaborNET
Free home delivery
August 2004   

Interview: Trading Places
New ACTU International Officer Alison Tate cut her teeth delivering aid to developing nations through APHEDA. Now she is helping chart the global union agenda.

Safety: Snow Job
James Hardie has been drilled into our collective consciousness as a story of power, greed and immorality. It is also, as Jim Marr reports, a tale of human tragedy.

Politics: In the Vanguard
Damien Cahill reveals how neo-liberal think tanks have been at the forefront of the corporate assault upon trade unions and social movements in Australia.

Unions: Gentle Giant Goes For Gold
Donít get between Sydney sparkie Semir Pepic and a gold medal in a dimly lit alley, writes Tim Brunero.

Bad Boss: 'Porker' Chases Blue Ribbon
Perfect Porker, Darren Vincent, brings a history of meat worker shafting to this monthís Bad Boss nomination.

International: Cruising For A Bruising
Europeís big unions are bruised as they watch companies roll over some of their best-organised unionised workplaces demanding longer work hours Ė without any recompense, reports Andrew Casey.

History: Under the Influence
Was John Kerr drunk when he wrote and signed the letter dismissing Edward Gough Whitlam from the Prime Ministership in 1975? Geraldine Willissee investigates.

Economics: Working Capital
Where superannuation fits, where it fails and what we should we do about it. Neale Towart gives the tough answers.

Review: Fahrenheit 9/11
There's many a must see moment in Mike Moore's new flick but beating the propaganda machine at its own game wreaks havoc with wearied bullshit detectors, writes Tara de Boehmler.

Poetry: Bad Intelligence Rap
When Flood washed away the PM's sins, the truth was once again left high and dry.

Satire: Osama Bin Manchu
During a recent visit to an elderly relative in a nursing home, I was waylaid by an ancient gentleman who insisted I listen to what he had to say, writes Rowan Cahill.


The Westie Wing
The Labor Governments in each State must take the lead to stop the abuse of corporate law in Australia in the absence of action from the Federal Government, as the Inquiry into James Hardieís has highlighted, writes Ian West.

The Soapbox
Cleaners Deserve Our Support
It's time the state's cleaners were given some support, loyalty and long service leave, writes Chris Christodoulou.

The Locker Room
Half Time At The Football
Phil Doyle wants to have his pie and eat it too.

Faithful Servant
Frank Mossfield was one of the labour movementís quiet achievers. Former Labor Council secretary Michael Easson pays tribute.

Lessons From East Timor
Just back from a study tour to East Timor, National Reserach Officer with the Construction division of the CFMEU, Ben Stirling, writes about the experience for Workers Online.


Tarnished Rings
As our athletes approach the starting line in Athens, it is interesting to reflect on how the world has changed since Sydney was the centre of a global group hug just four years ago.


 Stink Rises from Hamberger

 ALP Embraces Collectivism

 Bully Drives Deckhand into Drink

 Fighter in Cancer Link

 Tunnellers Dig in for Safety

 Seconds Out in Newcastle

 Vale Josh Heuchan

 "Betrayal" Sparks Election Rethink

 Councils Wedge James Hardie

 Great Southern Death Rattler

 Libs Desert "War Criminal"

 Casuals Take Over

 ALP Star Hits The Waterfront

 Activists Whatís On!

 An Officer And A Teacher
 Tom Goes Asexual
 Road Rage At Work
 Democracy In Action
 Asbestos Bastadry
About Workers Online
Latest Issue
Print Latest Issue
Previous Issues
Advanced Search

other LaborNET sites

Labor Council of NSW
Vic Trades Hall Council
IT Workers Alliance
Unions on LaborNET
Evatt Foundation

Labor for Refugees



Bad Intelligence Rap

When Flood washed away the PM's sins, the truth was once again left high and dry.

When the Prime Minister appointed the loyal Phillip Flood (who, as head of the Office of National Assessments, had abolished that agency's capacity to inquire into weapons of mass destruction) to inquire into the reasons we went to war, it was no surprise when he said that the PM could not be blamed for anything. As Sir Humphrey said, never appoint an inquiry unless you know the answer it's going to give. Still, it was interesting to see where the finger was pointed. It's best to read this summary, by resident bard David Peetz, with the heavy beat of war drums in the background.


I wanted to know what had gone wrong
So I called an old mate and paid him a song
I said could you please have a look around
Those things of mass destruction can't be found
And since those Iraqis we liberated
They don't behave like they're very grateful
There's bombs going off and much distress
So I said tell me how did we all get in this mess

And he looked around, and he said to me, "John,
The problem's right up there in yer scone
Yer can't be blamed for incompetence
See, yer problem's yer poor intelligence"

He really was an understanding chap
When he gave me the bad intelligence rap
We'd given this war our fullest backing
Because our intelligence was lacking
It made me sulk and it made me frown
My intelligence had let me down
But it's not my fault, it's plain to see
I've got poor intelligence, so let me be

Good thing is I ain't out on a limb
There's my old friend George, what about him?
I'm sure that it's his preference
To have no functioning intelligence
And Tony Blair, everyone knows
His faulty intelligence really shows
So when you see my friends it's plain to see
Its no wonder my own intelligence failed me

Well it's good to know that I can't be blamed
At least my condition has got a name
And I had a look at other problems around
To see what explanation could be found
Bulk billing I saw is all but dying
Pharmaceutiocal costs will soon be flying
Through the roof, like uni fees
And those blacks and greenies just can't be pleased
The poor get poorer and the rich get richer
And some think that aint a pretty picture
But these problems you see around Australia
Must be due to my intelligence failures
But it ain't all bad that's the answer I got
Coz I can't be blamed if my intelligence is shot

But I don't think there's any need for corrections
Coz you know I just keep on winning them elections
And the reason I can come back from the brink
Is that I know how youse Australians think
And when the elections come round you see
I trust youse voters are all like me
And I will rely on the voters' good sense
And pray youse have got no intelligence


email workers to a friend printer-friendly version latest breaking news from labornet

Search All Issues | Latest Issue | Previous Issues | Print Latest Issue

© 1999-2002 Workers Online
Workers Online is a resource for the Labour movement
provided by the Labor Council of NSW
Last Modified: 15 Nov 2005

Powered by APT Solutions
Labor Council of NSW Workers Online