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Satire: Howard Calls for Senate to be Replaced by Clap-O-Meter
John Howard released a controversial policy statement today, arguing that the Senate be abolished in favour of a device measuring noise from the gallery of the House of Representatives.
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Satire
Howard Calls for Senate to be Replaced by Clap-O-Meter
Extracted from The Chaser
John Howard released a controversial policy statement today, arguing that the Senate be abolished in favour of a device measuring noise from the gallery of the House of Representatives.
Howard called the current mechanisms of the Senate "anachronistic", saying that it had been invented before technologies like the Clap-O-Meter and SMS polls.
"A Government's election is a mandate to implement policy, and therefore review of that policy should reflect majority opinion. We now have technology that can do through accurate measure of the applause from the public galleries" said Howard.
The Prime Minister admitted that the public gallery needed to be full enough to ensure representation of the wider community, and outlined a program of giveaways and door prizes to ensure this was the case, including a free Parliamentary t-shirt for every audience member. Howard also noted that "judges decisions would be final" and that polling was not open to minor party members or their families.
Bob Brown attacked the plan, saying it would make Parliament too autocratic. "Say for example there were three people in the public gallery, it's very possible they wouldn't be the three people who voted for the Greens, although if there was only one Greens voter, she would probably have a drum of some kind, which would even things out."
The controversial statement has drawn some unlikely supporters. Labor heavyweights like Bob Carr and Gough Whitlam have backed the scheme, as has former game-show host Glenn Ridge.
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