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  Issue No 99 Official Organ of LaborNet 15 June 2001  

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Satire

World Domination

Extracted from The Chaser

The US has threatened not to pay the UN the money it doesn't pay anyway.

 
 

The Chaser

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The United States had reacted angrily to its failure to gain re-election to the UN Human Rights Commission and the International Narcotics Control Board. The US Congress has sent a letter to the United Nations threatening to withhold American money owed to the UN.

A spokesperson for the United Nations has admitted that they were puzzled by a threat.

"We are a little unsure whether they are threatening not to pay the money that they already haven't paid or the money that they seem unlikely to pay in the future," questioned one UN employee.

A spokesperson later clarified the US position. "The Republican administration is threatening to take America's policy of financially crippling the UN even further," he explained. "We will move to a policy of actively depriving the UN of funds, using such means as stealing that Kofi guy's wallet. Or maybe his suits. Geez, he wears nice suits."

The US President was incensed by the snubbing from the UN Human Rights Commission. He was particularly miffed by the fact that Sudan had been voted onto the Committee.

"How did those guys get on?" he reportedly asked. "Their whole political system is racially and religiously biased, they still have the death penalty and they refuse to support the creation of an International Criminal Court. It is an outrage that they should purport to be the guardians of international human rights."

The Bush administration also expressed confusion at the ousting of the US from the International Narcotics Control Board.

"The CIA controls most narcotics so I don't understand how we got kicked off," said a Bush spokesperson.


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*    Visit The Chaser

*   View entire issue - print all of the articles!

*   Issue 99 contents

In this issue
Features
*  Interview: In Defence of the Umpire
Australian Industry Group chief Bob Herbert on why the Industrial Relations Commission is worth fighting for.
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*  Unions: Diary of a Dude
One.Tel worker Warren Manners thought he had a dream job and no need for a union. That was until the money ran out.
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*  Legal: Dot.Com Casualties
The high profile collapse of One.Tel had significant implications for its employees. But what about its contractors?
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*  Industrial: The Shopfloor, United
Chris Christodoulou argues that without an active union membership, workplace democracy is just a pipe dream.
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*  International: A Saharawi Woman's Plea
Sydney unionist Stephanie Brennan travelled to Africa to witness first-hand the struggle for independence in West Sahara.
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*  History: Once Were Tuckpointers
Trawling through the files, Paul Howes stumbles upon some unions that represented workers long departed.
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*  Politics: Out Of The Comfort Zone
In his new book, Brett Evans argues that while Labor is honing its reform agenda, it is still struggling to reform itself.
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*  Satire: World Domination
The US has threatened not to pay the UN the money it doesn’t pay anyway.
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*  Review: Wiped Out
Bread and Roses is a new movie about the struggle of invisible office cleaners to gain dignity and respect at work. Pity you won’t see it here.
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News
»  Dudded Dudes Lead Union Fight Back
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»  Redundancy Rules Promote Outsourcing
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»  Workers Compo Bill Hovers
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»  Della’s Pay for View Awards
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»  Trades Hall Get Green Light
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»  Public Works Under the Gun
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»  Inner City School Closures
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»  TAB Computers Push Bigger Bets
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»  Shannon Plots Corporate Raid
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»  Stop CSR Militants Wrecking Economy
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»  NRMA Learns From the Big Boys
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»  Diggers’ Records to be Outsourced?
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»  Unions Back Religious Freedoms in Vietnam
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»  Blair's Britain - An Insider Speaks
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»  Workers Online 100th Issue Bash
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»  Activists' Notebook
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Columns
»  The Soapbox
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»  The Locker Room
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»  Trades Hall
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»  Tool Shed
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Letters to the editor
»  The May Day Wash-Out Explained
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»  What's Wrong With Compo?
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