
Issue No 98		01 June 2001

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Tool Shed

Bad Monk For Love

Tony Abbott is back in the room he calls home, after telling Jobs network workers it was acceptable to discriminate against people with tattoos on the grounds they had engaged in self-mutilation.

The man responsible for upholding the Workplace Relations Act's anti-discrimination objects and provisions - told a conference last week that a "value-free" approach to prospective employees with body art was "counter-productive".

He told the Jobs Australia conference in Melbourne last week that society was "chronically shy of making value judgments about even the most self-defeating individual behaviour".

He made the comments in the context of welcoming the fact that job placement organizations were no longer bounded by public sector requirements - and therefore could make judgements about 'body-art'.

"Job Network staff generally understand how counter-productive a 'value free' approach can be. And usually find it easier than public servants to explain how 'body art' might strike many employers as self-mutilation," he is quoted as saying.

Abbott's spray now begs the question - who in the Coalition is hiding a tatt? And will the Mad Monk promise to demand that any inked Coalition member stand down as unfit for public service?

And if there are some Tatts in the Howard front bench, what would they be? Is it true that 'Sloppy ' Joe Hockey has an 'H' tattooed on each buttock, so when he bends over he gives a prominent Liberal doner free advertising? (old joke, I know)... Has Reithy really embraced the naval culture and placed the name of his One True Love on his bicep - and if so, can the words 'labour market deregulation' fit on one man's arm? And what of Howard 0- is there a seductive 'Fifties Rock' over his heart? Nothing short of a Royal Commission is required to get to the bottom of this.

*****************

On its face this is just another sign of Abbott's knee-jerk conservatism and propensity to sound off about issues he knows little about.

But we do our research at Workers Online, and have uncovered what we regard as conclusive proof that the Mad Monk has a long and enduring history of 'body art'.

Indeed, a reading of the lyrics from some of the hits by those doyens of the inked torso, 'Rose Tattoo' shows the Monk to have been something of an inspiration.

We'd go further - nearly 20 years ago Rose Tattoo we believe that correctly predicted the Monk's stellar rise to the heights of power through their own songs.

What follows is an analysis of the text of some of those songs:

They were so damn glad when I left school/Said I was crazy 'cause I broke the rules/Time to start livin' my teenage dream/Out on the streets it was rough and mean/That's why...they call me one of the boys (One Of The Boys)

Abbott was somewhat a firebrand in his days at Riverview College - a pugilist and rugby front-rower. Rose Tattoo correctly predicts Abbott's early decision to train for the priesthood.

Well I went around just to see my chick/I found her room and it was candle lit/She's makin' love to another man/I shot 'em both and they locked me in the slam/I'm a bad boy...a bad boy for love/I'm a bad boy...a bad boy for love (Bad Boy for Love)

This refers to Abbott's struggle for pre-selection to federal parliament. The 'chick' is obviously Bronwyn Bishop, with whom he initially schemed, but then fell out with. Also nice references to his head-kicker image on the floor in Federal Parliament.

You insult my intelligence/While you pat me on the back/You give me something with one hand/While the other hand takes it back (TV)

Here the Tatts successfully predict the bitter war on the Waterfront. We all remember the image from Federal Parliament after the Patrick workers were confronted by men in balaclavas and dogs on chains, Howard leans over to Reith, pats him on the back - and the young about shouts 'hear. Hear', knowing the role of union-basher will soon be his.

There's trouble in the streets tonight/Short tempers heat to boil/Tension like a cobra snake/Set to strike and stiffly coiled (Out Of This Place)

This is clearly a reference to Abbott's assault on the CFMEU and threats to call a Royal Commission into the building industry. They are a trade union prone to street action and occasionally anger. They wear T-Shirts displaying a Cobra with the slogan 'when provoked, we will strike".

Astra Wally he's a real mean cat/He gets around with caps in his hat/He looks at pain with a nod and a wink/Oh Astra Wally you're a super fun thing (Astra Wally)

Finally, the Tatts foreshadow a bid by the Mad Monk for the federal leader's position, following their upcoming demise in the federal election. The text imples Abbott will betray Costello and mount his own bid. But there is also a warning: 'Astra Wally' rearranged, spells 'Law Astray', implying Abbott could well face some sotrt of charges of electoral fraud after the election.

***************

So there's the proof, that Abbott's comments on tattoos are an absolute smoke-secreen, an attempt to lure us from the trail that inevitably links the Mad Monk with Angry Anderson. You read it hear first in the Tool Shed.

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Issue 98 contents

Interview: Balancing the Books
Opposition Finance spokesman Lindsay Tanner on bringing a Labor agenda to managing the nation�s finances.

Compo: Undampened Spirits
Despite atrocious weather, building workers took to the streets this work over the carnage in their workplace. Mark Hebblewhite was there.

Unions: Giving Blood
Local government workers are mounting a campaign to have leave to give blood donations recognised in their award.

Women: A Checklist for Women Voters
With a mountain of demands on Australian working women, the biggest question could well be which is the biggest?

History: May Day Meditation
May Day has been and gone, but we thought Peter Linebaugh�s take on its meaning was worth reading on all the other days too.

International: The Weeks of Living Dangerously
The now almost inevitable fall of Indonesia�s President Abdurrahman Wahid could have drastic consequences for the increasingly militant working class movement in that country.

Economics: No More Mr Nice Guy
In his new book, Steven Keen outlines why the public needs to know that economics is intellectually unsound.

Satire: NZ to be Disbanded
Following the successful disbanding of the armed forces the Prime Minister of New Zealand, Helen Clark, has unveiled a new bold plan to total disband the entire nation.

Review: Action in the House
Workers Online�s Big Brother Addict argues the time has come for the contestant�s to take some industrial action.

» Twenty Grand � The Cost of a Life in 2001

» Compo Protest Virtually Ignored

» Workers Tell Jodie: It's a Bit Rich

» Disbelief at Dubai in the Sky

» Wage Rise For Two Million Workers

» Casuals Win Parental Leave Rights

» Egan Budget Welcomed � But Social Audit Still on Agenda

» Bad Rosters �Like Being Drunk�

» Nurses Act on Ward Rage

» Council Workers Brace for Border Skirmish

» Meatworkers Win in Federal Court

» Hotel Bosses Linked to Tobacco Industry

» Workers Demand Treaty With Indigenous Australia

» Activists Notebook

» The Soapbox

» The Locker Room

» Trades Hall

» Tool Shed

» Pop and Politics - Where's Billy??

» Satire is not Serious

» Toasting May Day

» WorkCover - Questions for NRMA

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