Workers Online
Workers Online
Workers Online
  Issue No 95 Official Organ of LaborNet 11 May 2001  

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Satire

Bush Defends One China Policy - Then Another China Policy, Then Another ....

Extracted from The Chaser

President Bush today announced a major change to the United States' policy of "strategic ambiguity" towards the status of Taiwan and its One China policy.

 
 

The new policy of "strategic stupidity" will see the President confusing the Chinese into submission by releasing several contrary statements a day regarding the status of Taiwan.

Bush started the day by being the first President to state that the United States would use military force to protect Taiwan. After engaging in a discussion with his foreign policy experts, during which the words "World War Three" and "fucking idiot" were explored, Bush decided to change this policy.

In new attempts to confuse the Chinese government, Bush released several other policies suggesting at different times that the US would not use force to defend Taiwan, that the US would actually help China invade Taiwan, that the US didn't know where Taiwan was and that the US thought Taiwan was a form of martial art.

Bush will also attempt to pacify China by claiming that the sale of billions of dollars worth of weapons to Taiwan is 'only fair after we gave you that spyplane'


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*   Issue 95 contents

In this issue
Features
*  Interview: Geek Guys
Two of the union movement�s pioneers in new technology, Peter Ross and Mark McGrath, chew the fat about wired unionism and virtual politics.
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*  Compo: Costa�s Angels
Behind the spotlight of the workers comp campaign four women trade union officials have been burning the midnight oil to protect injured workers.
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*  Legal: View from the Bench
Compensation Court judge and former Attorney-General, Frank Walker, argues the Della Bosca workers comp reforms are a threat to judicial independence.
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*  International: Timor: Time for the Truth
HT Lee was in Dili when the militas ran rampage. Now he wants the truth to come out.
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*  History: True Believers
Frank Bongiorno looks at the origins of the Australian Labor Party, which celebrated its centenary of Caucus this week.
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*  Corporate: Trust Me, I�m a Multi-National!
BHP unions have united across the factions to urge �No� vote on the planned Billiton merger.
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*  Unions: AWAs � A Doomed Future?
ACTU Assistant Secretary Richard Marles plays clairvoyant and predicts a dismal future for AWAs.
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*  Satire: Bush Defends One China Policy - Then Another China Policy, Then Another ....
President Bush today announced a major change to the United States� policy of �strategic ambiguity� towards the status of Taiwan and its One China policy.
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*  Review: Surviving Survivor
Workers Online's Reality TV correspondent Mark Morey rakes over the coals of the Survivor II result.
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News
»  Carr Government Avoids Own Safety Laws
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»  Phantom Employers Face the Flush
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»  Primus Suspect? Unions Seek Answers
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»  Big Australian�s Merger Faces Rocky Road
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»  Happy Hour for Heineken with a Half-Price Dollar
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»  Arnotts Workers Call for Consumer Boycott
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»  Asian Women at Work: Daring To Act
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»  Academic Sacking Sparks Global Row
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»  Labor Councillors Feel Childcare Heat
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»  Rail Workers Win Maintenance Security
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»  Knitwear Company Stitched Up Over AWAs
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»  Three Stripes and You�re Out
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»  Unions and Students Move on Harvard
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»  IT Workers Alliance � Last Call for Comment
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»  Our News Feed Hits 1000
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»  Activist Notebook
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Columns
»  The Soapbox
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»  The Locker Room
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»  Trades Hall
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»  Tool Shed
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Letters to the editor
»  The Great May Day Debate
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»  Questions for Macca
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»  Qantas on Impulse
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»  Compo: The Great Tradition
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