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  Issue No 94 Official Organ of LaborNet 04 May 2001  

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Satire

Teen Angst Poems a “Danger”

Extracted from The Chaser

The Teen Angst Gun Massacre Affair has broadened, with staff at the NSW Department of Education revealing that "gangs of conspirators" have been found operating out of high school poetry competitions.

 
 

Department sources claim that one student had written "subversive" and "homicidal" lyrics such as 'The principal has made me sad/ I think I could do something bad'. The department took the threat seriously following reports that the student had been stockpiling weapons of mass destruction and naming them after Beat Poets.

Another student had threatened to poison her classmates with "all the anger I've been storing up inside".

The widening scandal follows revelations last week by NSW Education Minister Mr John Aquilina that a boy from Cecil Hills High had been plotting to murder his classmates with his father's gun. Police deny the boy had access to a gun.

The boy's family immediately called for an apology. "Look, we admit our boy's a psycho," his father said, "but he's no gun-waving psycho. That was going too far."

Teachers at the Cecil Bay High say they were happy with the boy's work. "His creative writing contributions were exceptional," said Miss Parker, his English teacher. "In my line of work you get used to teen-Satanists and gang-banging, but he had a really vivid mind. I've never had such a revealing essay on 'my favourite animal'. It takes real imagination to think up all those things to do with a single cat."

Meanwhile, the Prime Minister has called for a Royal Commission into Adolescent Angst. "Frankly, I'm sick of being the target of HSC lampoons. The government as a whole is very concerned. After all, protest poems killed Thatcher."


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*   Visit The Chaser

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*   Issue 94 contents

In this issue
Features
*  Interview: Global Action
The CFMEU has been a world leader in fighting the war on global corporations. John Maitland has been one of the generals.
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*  Unions: Sisters United
In her May Day address, Bus Union state president Pat Ryan looks at the role women have played in the labour movement.
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*  Politics: M1 and the Trade Unions
Phil Davey was one of the forces behind S11 but chose to sit out M1. He looks at this week's action.
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*  History: Il Duce Roberto?
His modern-day fan club might not like it, but Rowan Cahill argues wartime PM Robert Menzies sailed close to the winds of Fascism.
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*  International: Cuban Call for Global Labour Rights
An international meeting of union representatives in Cuba has vowed to start a campaign to defend workers rights from the effects of globalisation.
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*  Economics: The G-Word
ACTU President Sharan Burrow asks if there's a better way forward for global trade.
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*  Media: Birth Of A Nation
East Timor's young journalists are struggling with language barriers and technical difficulties most Australian media professionals wouldn't be able to comprehend. But they're keen and eager to learn.
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*  Review: The Tremulous Hopes of the Fifties
Behind the the good times mythology of the 1950s was a desperate quest for the ordinary.
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*  Satire: Teen Angst Poems a “Danger”
The Teen Angst Gun Massacre Affair has broadened, with staff at the NSW Department of Education revealing that “gangs of conspirators” have been found operating out of high school poetry competitions.
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News
»  Workers Seek Security on Back of Living Wage
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»  Temple Workers Return to India Victorious
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»  Unions Get Down to Workers Comp Talks
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»  Firefighters Hand Hoses To Politicians
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»  Unions Back Corruption Fight
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»  'Workers Bank' Protest Rally Backs Cleaners
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»  Smoking Decision Sparks Call for Pub Bans
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»  Boycott Trade, Travel with Burma
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»  Qantas Takeover No Impulse Buy
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»  Sick Chicks Win Privacy Rights
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»  Arnotts Workers Seek More than Crumbs
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»  Jageth Backs Jakarta Hotel Workers
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»  Equity Members Send a Dear John Letter
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»  New Theatre Under Threat
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»  A Toast to May Day
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»  Activist Notebook
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Columns
»  The Soapbox
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»  The Locker Room
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»  Trades Hall
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»  Tool Shed
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Letters to the editor
»  And Macca Replies to Lee ...
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»  What About the Workers?
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