
Issue No 94		04 May 2001

LaborNET	Ask Neale	Tool of the Week

Tool Shed

Shane Stone – Soft Touch

While most Tories in this great land are laying into the Liberal Party president for going too hard on the government, we reckon this guy's a Tool for not telling it as it is.

Let's face it, it's all very well to accuse Howard, Costello and Co for being "mean, tricky and out of touch". But this is just a positive gloss on their performance of the past five years.

We at Workers Online have received yet another leaked memo from a source not far away from the office of Stone, where the real feelings of the Queensland MPs are chronicled.

Far from being a hard-hitting expose, this document exposes the Stone memos as a snow-job, glossing over the real problems the Howard Government faces.

Here are some extracts:

John Howard is a limp-wristed pansy. He is soft on drugs, soft on im'grants, soft on Ab'rignles and his position on guns is down-right tree-huggin'.

And look at his family values! His son can't even hold his grog! Up here, unless you can down a couple Darwin stubbies before recess you are suspected of homosexuality

Calls himself a leader? This bloke couldn't organise a piss-up at Singo's house on Slipper Day.

If he had any balls he'd just get into bed with Pauline, do the dirty deed and deliver redneck Australia to our once great party.

As for Costello - what a toff. Just cos' you can down a few canapés with the merchant bankers doesn't make you a steak-eater.

He's been out there selling the GST as if it's the latest Pfizer product, but when it comes to the Aussie Dollar he can't get his end up!

Listen you mob, our people are hurting, the last thing they need is a bloke with all the humility of a petrol sniffer whistling "don't Worry, Be Happy".

His smirk should be surgically removed.

And don't get us talking to me about Anderson. He's the one who's taken the O out of country Australia.

Look at him, walking around like he's the day master at a boarding school. He can't even pronounce his bloody vowels.

As for Reith, Abbott and Co you wouldn't feed them. Yet they act as if they run the bloody country!

Up here, in the real country, we have no time for wimps who forget who put them there, throwing all that money at single-mums and dole-bludgers when they should be throwing it at us.

And if they don't like the message, we challenge them to a boat race and an all-in brawl. Then we'll see who's tough.

Nominate a Tool!

View entire issue - print all of the articles!

Issue 94 contents

Interview: Global Action
The CFMEU has been a world leader in fighting the war on global corporations. John Maitland has been one of the generals.

Unions: Sisters United
In her May Day address, Bus Union state president Pat Ryan looks at the role women have played in the labour movement.

Politics: M1 and the Trade Unions
Phil Davey was one of the forces behind S11 but chose to sit out M1. He looks at this week's action.

History: Il Duce Roberto?
His modern-day fan club might not like it, but Rowan Cahill argues wartime PM Robert Menzies sailed close to the winds of Fascism.

International: Cuban Call for Global Labour Rights
An international meeting of union representatives in Cuba has vowed to start a campaign to defend workers rights from the effects of globalisation.

Economics: The G-Word
ACTU President Sharan Burrow asks if there's a better way forward for global trade.

Media: Birth Of A Nation
East Timor's young journalists are struggling with language barriers and technical difficulties most Australian media professionals wouldn't be able to comprehend. But they're keen and eager to learn.

Review: The Tremulous Hopes of the Fifties
Behind the the good times mythology of the 1950s was a desperate quest for the ordinary.

Satire: Teen Angst Poems a “Danger”
The Teen Angst Gun Massacre Affair has broadened, with staff at the NSW Department of Education revealing that “gangs of conspirators” have been found operating out of high school poetry competitions.

» Workers Seek Security on Back of Living Wage

» Temple Workers Return to India Victorious

» Unions Get Down to Workers Comp Talks

» Firefighters Hand Hoses To Politicians

» Unions Back Corruption Fight

» 'Workers Bank' Protest Rally Backs Cleaners

» Smoking Decision Sparks Call for Pub Bans

» Boycott Trade, Travel with Burma

» Qantas Takeover No Impulse Buy

» Sick Chicks Win Privacy Rights

» Arnotts Workers Seek More than Crumbs

» Jageth Backs Jakarta Hotel Workers

» Equity Members Send a Dear John Letter

» New Theatre Under Threat

» A Toast to May Day

» Activist Notebook