
Issue No 89		23 March 2001

LaborNET	Ask Neale	Tool of the Week

Satire

Ryan 'A Big Wake-Up Call For Me': Beazley

Extracted from The Chaser

The narrow victory to Labor in the Ryan by-election has delivered a big slap in the face to Leader of the Opposition Kim Beazley.

The Labor Party's swing was a mere 9.5%, not enough to enable the ALP's Leonie Short to win the seat comfortably.

Beazley has admitted that the Ryan result casts a lot of doubt on the ALP's capacity to win every single seat in the upcoming Federal poll. "At this rate we'll have an opposition after the next election," Beazley admitted.

The Opposition Leader also claimed that he had received the message from the voters loud and clear. "I thought it was okay to talk about a GST rollback and a 'knowledge nation' without giving too many details, but now I know I was wrong," he said. "I realise now that the electorate don't want me to talk about policies at all. In future, I won't be giving even really vague details of what we plan to do. I won't even pretend to have policies anymore," he promised.

Behind the scenes tacticians for the Labor party are concerned that the Labor party did not win more Liberal voters. "We've obviously have to make sure the ALP becomes even more like the Liberal Party. When we become a party that's indistinguishable from the Liberals - except that we don't have Peter Costello - then we'll be in an unbeatable position."

Meanwhile Prime Minister John Howard has said that the Ryan result is a 'resounding endorsement' of his leadership. "This really makes a fool of all those people who've been calling me 'Mister Thirty Percent'," he said, referring to his recent poor approval rating. Howard argued that the closeness of the Ryan poll showed that the real figure was probably closer to 35%.

   Visit The Chaser

  View entire issue - print all of the articles!

  Issue 89 contents

Interview: Paddy Takes the Helm
Irish, internationalist, republican, socialist & seafarer - Paddy Crumlin intends taking the old traditions of the labour left into the 21st century, the community and cyberspace.

Unions: Breaking the Mould
Mark Hearn looks at how women union delegates are helping to change the culture in the traditionally male bastion of glassworking.

Legal: Washing Their Hands
Mark Morey outlines how Liberal neglect of the working visa system has led to exploitation of guest workers.

International: Violence Betrays Shangri-La
Shangri-La hotel union members carrying a coffin marked Robert Kuok have been assaulted and beaten by police in Jakarta.

Economics: Corporations: Different Than You and Me
Corporations are fundamentally different than you and me. That's a simple truth that Big Business leaders desperately hope the public will not perceive.

History: The Steel Octopus
Be prepared for a flood of Nostalgia from the media about the �Big Australian�, as it prepares to flee our shores and finally internationalise its digging operations. Workers won�t forget BHP�s less than worker friendly past and present (and no doubt it�s future).

Review: Mean Nation
John Allen charts the fall and fall of philanthropy in Australian society.

Satire: Ryan 'A Big Wake-Up Call For Me': Beazley
The narrow victory to Labor in the Ryan by-election has delivered a big slap in the face to Leader of the Opposition Kim Beazley.

» Abbott and �Drinking Buddy� Under Microscope

» Working Visas: Ruddock Sells Dump to Abbott

» Tourist Guides Bussed In

» Fair Wear Holds Breath as Carr Celebrates

» Labor to Restore Public Sector�s Dignity

» Its Time for Carr to Act on Safey on Building Sites

» Bread Maker Slices Workforce

» Workers Show Grace Under Pressure

» Engineers Win BHP Redundancy Case

» Transport Drug Pushers Not Charged

» Training Body Needs $150 Million to Cope with Growth

» HIH Urged To Safeguard Employee Entitlements

» Carr Proposal For Public Schools Flawed

» Human Smirk Returns to Spiritual Home

» McGauchie Appointment Draws MUA Fire

» Bove Loses McDonald's Raid Appeal

» James Hardie Called to Account

» Australasian Union Organising Conference

» Activist Notebook