
Issue No 89		23 March 2001

LaborNET	Ask Neale	Tool of the Week

The Locker Room

Picket Cricket – The Ultimate Test

Following this week's inaugural game between the Grenadier Coatings workers and the Indian temple workers, we unveil the full official rules of Picket Cricket.

- Two teams of grossly uneven ability should be selected - under the Howard Government "a level playing field" is history.

- 26 overs per innings (one for each week the boss has been pocketing your super)

- stumps are positioned across picket line, which should be rolled before play prevent any cracks developing.

- spectators are encouraged to chant for their team, but those wearing balaclavas must restrain their dogs from the chewing ball.

- once play starts, the MCC rules of cricket applies except for the following.

- One-handed catches only (under the Reith laws any worker undertaking industrial action has one hand tied behind their back)

- if a member of management drops the ball, the workers will be penalized (hey, that's life under the Corporations Law)

- all appeals for LBW (lost benefits and wages) to be turned down by management.

- one foot over the picket line constitutes a no-ball. Two constitutes scabbing and will lead to instant ejection from the match.

- all other appeals to be formally debated and carried by a vote of the entire workforce through a secreat ballot.

- if there no quick resolution to the dispute it will be referred to an independent umpire (unless you have the money to take it to the Federal Court)

- no batters will be allowed to wear pads, gloves or box - there are no longer any protections for workers in Howard's Australia.

- BUT all management required to wear protectors on their foreheads (they are, after all, dickheads)

- betting on results is to be encouraged, although gamblers should be aware that the Administrator and the banks are the only one's who'll ever get a pay-out.

- All meal breaks to consist of barbequed sausages and warm soft drink

- When the boss gives in, the game's over - you've all won!

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Issue 89 contents

Interview: Paddy Takes the Helm
Irish, internationalist, republican, socialist & seafarer - Paddy Crumlin intends taking the old traditions of the labour left into the 21st century, the community and cyberspace.

Unions: Breaking the Mould
Mark Hearn looks at how women union delegates are helping to change the culture in the traditionally male bastion of glassworking.

Legal: Washing Their Hands
Mark Morey outlines how Liberal neglect of the working visa system has led to exploitation of guest workers.

International: Violence Betrays Shangri-La
Shangri-La hotel union members carrying a coffin marked Robert Kuok have been assaulted and beaten by police in Jakarta.

Economics: Corporations: Different Than You and Me
Corporations are fundamentally different than you and me. That's a simple truth that Big Business leaders desperately hope the public will not perceive.

History: The Steel Octopus
Be prepared for a flood of Nostalgia from the media about the “Big Australian”, as it prepares to flee our shores and finally internationalise its digging operations. Workers won’t forget BHP’s less than worker friendly past and present (and no doubt it’s future).

Review: Mean Nation
John Allen charts the fall and fall of philanthropy in Australian society.

Satire: Ryan 'A Big Wake-Up Call For Me': Beazley
The narrow victory to Labor in the Ryan by-election has delivered a big slap in the face to Leader of the Opposition Kim Beazley.

» Abbott and ‘Drinking Buddy’ Under Microscope

» Working Visas: Ruddock Sells Dump to Abbott

» Tourist Guides Bussed In

» Fair Wear Holds Breath as Carr Celebrates

» Labor to Restore Public Sector’s Dignity

» Its Time for Carr to Act on Safey on Building Sites

» Bread Maker Slices Workforce

» Workers Show Grace Under Pressure

» Engineers Win BHP Redundancy Case

» Transport Drug Pushers Not Charged

» Training Body Needs $150 Million to Cope with Growth

» HIH Urged To Safeguard Employee Entitlements

» Carr Proposal For Public Schools Flawed

» Human Smirk Returns to Spiritual Home

» McGauchie Appointment Draws MUA Fire

» Bove Loses McDonald's Raid Appeal

» James Hardie Called to Account

» Australasian Union Organising Conference

» Activist Notebook