Issue No 88 | 16 March 2001 | |
SatireDollar Crashes Through Psychological 0.00c BarrierExtracted from The Chaser
The bedevilled Australian dollar dropped below the crucial 0.00c barrier losing its battle to avoid the humiliation of being worth less than the commemorative Bradman coins distributed by the Sunday Telegraph last weekend.
But economists insisted that the barrier was just a psychological one and had no economic significance. This news was met with widespread relief. "I'm relieved that the 25 percent increase in the cost of foreign books and journals over the past year is actually only psychological," said the Chief Librarian at the University of New South Wales. The slump in the dollar will further drive up petrol prices. Last night, car drivers were relieved to discover that anger over petrol price rises was only psychological. Car driver Carl Fenton said, "I now realise that my anger over having to pay $1 a litre is probably the result of my neglectful father. I have no right to be angry at all over the total mismanagement of the Australian economy over the past two decades." Economist Ross Gittens compared the dollar's slump to talk of a recession. "The impending recession isn't actually real - it's just a psychological lack of business confidence that affects decisions to invest. Nobody should worry at all." "This isn't at all like during the mid-80s when Paul Keating made those 'bannana republic' comments. In that situation, Australia had a Labor administration who were running this country into the ground. That's totally different to today. The Liberal Government is just exercising 'sound fiscal policy.' It's totally different." Meanwhile, economists have expressed hope in using the word "bedevilled" as a replacement for the Australia dollar. "The word has a lot of currency at the moment," said one sharemarket punster.
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Interview: Labor Law Shadow Attorney General Robert McClelland outlines his plans for workers entitlements, legal aid and a Bill of Rights Unions: Poetic Justice The ACTU kicked off its 2001 Living Wage campaign this week with a new shock tactic: poetry. Technology: Big Brother�s Legacy Organisations with restrictive staff email polices risk locking themselves in the Industrial Age by treating their staff as units to be monitored. Corporate: Scumbags Exposed On the eve of the inaugural Corporate Scumbags Tour, we look at the worst of the worst from the Top End of Town. International: Playing Away Pat Ranald looks at a proposal to hold Australian companies to basic standards when they invest in developing countries. Environment: Nuclear Titanics The Maritime Union has joined Greenpeace in a campaign to stop our seas becoming a nuclear highway. History: Out of the Bog Neale Towart looks at the life of big Jim Larkin, one of the heroes of an Irish trade union movement that continues to thrive. Politics: Westie�s Macquarie Street Alert The Workers MLC, Ian West, provides the first in a series of regular rundowns on the upcoming Parliamentary session Review: The Next American Century? How will the United States maintain its global power in an era when the very notion of the nation-state is under challenge? Satire: Dollar Crashes Through Psychological 0.00c Barrier The bedevilled Australian dollar dropped below the crucial 0.00c barrier losing its battle to avoid the humiliation of being worth less than the commemorative Bradman coins distributed by the Sunday Telegraph last weekend.
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