
Issue No 71		15 September 2000

LaborNET	Ask Neale	Tool of the Week

Satire

Silly 2000

By The Chaser

Editors demand something happen: 'We've got 300 Olympic pages to fill and everyone is training'.

SYDNEY, Thursday: Editors of Australia's newspaper have contacted Games organisers and demanded that something interesting happen. The editors, who have all changed their papers to accommodate on average 300 pages of Olympic coverage a day, say that they are struggling to maintain interest in the pre-games week.

"Most of the athletes are just training and there is a limit to how many interesting stories you can print about athletes being pleased to be here and about tourists liking Sydney," said the editor of the Daily Telegraph newspaper. "At this point we think that the limit may be somewhere in the vicinity of 4,000 articles in a month."

Around Australia even the least sporting people are praying for the start of the Games. The desire for competition and results has been fuelled by a realisation that athletes, whilst interesting when competing, are incredibly boring when being asked what they had for breakfast and whether they like their accommodation.

"Most athletes have had too much media training and don't say anything interesting," said one unnamed editor. "When Ian Thorpe was asked whether he would feel bad if he didn't get a Gold medal he answered with some crap about having personal goals and only being after a personal best. What a load of shit. If he finishes fourth but gets a personal best I bet he won't be punching the air and waving to the crowd."

Even the thrill of the highly successful Torch Relay is unable to keep some readers interested.

"A couple of readers have cottoned on to the fact that we are just writing the same story and just changing the names of the runners and suburbs each day," said another unnamed editor. "We are going to have to come up with another angle to replace the whole torch-cures-every-ill-in-society one we've been using so far."

View entire issue - print all of the articles!

Issue 71 contents

Interview: Surviving The Firestorm
After several years as the focus of some brutal politics Carmen Lawrence is back on the ALP front bench. She talks to Workers Online about her new portfolio, unions and the ALP and mud slinging in politics.

History: Unions, Sport and Community
Remember when sport was a fun way to relax after arduous labour? The fight for the eight-hour work day was based around a slogan that said, in part, eight hours work, eight hours play. The play was unpaid and unsung, but enjoyable.

Politics: Global Failures
Sharan Burrow told the World Economic Forum this week that the union movement acknowledges the benefits of globalisation but it's time to address the failures.

International: Mobile Workers
A global IT labour shortage is throwing up challenges for both the developed and developing world. Gerd Rohde, from the Geneva-based Union Network International, is working to strike a balance.

Unions: Stuffed or Stoned?
In a recent dispute at the South Blackwater Coal Mine in Central Queensland CFMEU members resisted the introduction of random drug testing in the absence of a better strategy to test impairment and not just lifestyle.

Review: A Perfect Circle- Mer de Noms
Peter Zangari believes the music world has moved on from the simplistic chords of Nirvana and Soundgarden and the grunge scene has been obliterated. But like most other things, especially music, it re-invents itself.

Satire: Silly 2000
Editors demand something happen: ‘We’ve got 300 Olympic pages to fill and everyone is training’.

» Protesting Posties Blast Bosses in Swank Hotel

» Mario Carries Torch For Workers

» Union Flag Flies High At Olympic Park

» International Passport for IT Workers

» Homecarers Strike Another Blow Against Outsourcing

» Alliances The Legacy of S11 Say Protestors

» Violence Rife Against Union Activists

» Call Centre Workers Compo Call Answered

» Better Pay, Big Screens and Ice Cream for Bus 2000 Drivers

» 'Appalling' Detention Centres Behind Riots

» Election of Burmese Official A Slap In The Face

» Away For The Games

» Sport

» Labour Review

» Tool Shed

» Listen To The Young

Notice Board
- Check out the latest events

Latest Issue

View entire latest issue
- print all of the articles!

Previous Issues

Subject index

Search all issues

Workers Online - 2nd place Labourstart website of the year

LaborNET is a resource for the labour movement provided by the Labor Council of NSW

URL: http://workers.labor.net.au/71/d_review_chaser.html
Last Modified: 15 Nov 2005

[ Privacy Statement | Disclaimer | Credits ]

LaborNET is proudly created, designed and programmed by Social Change Online for the Labor Council of NSW