
Issue No 67		18 August 2000

LaborNET	Ask Neale	Tool of the Week

Tool Shed

Tory Froth

By Peter Lewis

In a country of tools, Britain's Opposition leader William Hague has shown true leadership by trying to add colour to his persona by boasting he used to drink 14 pints in a sitting. Only problem is that noone believes him.

Hague's boozing claims led to immediate scepticism because (a) he's as dull as tepid tea and (b) 14 pints in a sitting would put most people in hospital.

'Investigative reporting' (ie hanging around bars) from the British tabloids has since uncovered that anyone who remembers Hague as a youngster as being a boring git who would never shout anything to anyone - except the chorus of Rule Britannia.

The ruse had been a godsend to Labour who have begun distributing beer coasters with the slogan 'Tory Froth'.

In fact, Hague's only claim to fame as a youth was in delivering a set-piece suck-up on behalf of Britain's youth to the then PM Maggie Thatcher at a Conservative Party convention.

Rather than draining lagers, Hague used to sit at home reading politics and dreaming of one day being Tory leader. This occurred after Blair swept to power and there was no Conservative willing to enter the shooting gallery. Enter one W.Hague.

So how's he performed? Much as you'd expect. With a decimated party, he's simply played the populist card beating up law and order issues and inciting general fear and loathing amongst the lower classes. Sights of children with placards calling for paedophiles to be castrated are a good example of Hague's vision of social cohesion.

That and excessive intake of alcohol. After being exposed for his 14 pints porky, Hague tried it again, getting an old mate to claim that he'd knocked back 32 rum and Cokes on his 18th birthday. While no one believes him, the increasingly desperate attempts to look like a pisshead point to some form of substance abuse by someone in the Tory show.

Perhaps we can claim a little bit of credit for his public embarrassment. After all, Hague's chief spin doctor is an Aussie.

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Issue 67 contents

Interview: Slyly Selling the Silver
In their recently published book Privatisation, Sell-off? or Sell out? (ABC Books), Bob and Betty Walker took a long hard look at the major government asset sales of the last decade. Here they tell Workers Online what they've learnt.

Politics: Dysfunctional Society
Noel Pearson looks at the plight of Aboriginal people through a prism of class and comes up with a challenging perspective on Aboriginal welfare, law and order and the state of our society.

History: Money Power
Should the People or the Banks Rule? Reserve Bank Governor McFarlane thinks he knows the answer. Eddie Ward was pretty strongly of the opposite view when the ALP introduced the Commonwealth Banking Legislation in 1945.

International: Soccer Pro Tackles Nike
Olympic sponsor Nike is under pressure over its human rights record in the run up to the Sydney Games.

Economics: Globalony
Frank Stillwell looks at the contradictory nature of the globalising economy and fears it is turning into a race to the bottom.

Satire: IVF Debate: Federal Government Tells Lesbians: "Get Fucked"
MELBOURNE, Monday: The Federal Court decision to allow single women and lesbians to use infertility treatment in Victoria has been attacked by the Federal Government, the Catholic Church and by pro-family community groups.

Review: Confessions Of A Union Buster
It's not a new tome but the threat for Australian Unions remains the same if not greater as when this book appeared five years ago.

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