
Issue No 48		31 March 2000

LaborNET	Ask Neale	Tool of the Week

Satire

Chop ‘em Up and Stick ‘em in Acid”

Extracted from The Chaser

The West Australian Government is poised to pass Pakistani-style sentencing laws.

The Western Australian Premier, Richard Court, has approached the Pakistani government to learn more about their justice system after a Pakistani court passed a sentence which will see convicted murderer Javed Iqbal strangled, cut into 100 pieces and dropped in acid.

Court is reportedly scouring the legal systems of the world looking for a new 'tough on crime' policy to bring to the upcoming Western Australian election.

Polls show that the state which first brought mandatory sentencing to Australia in 1996 is now ready for a new approach to making its voters feel like crime is being dealt with.

"Mandatory sentencing just isn't working. Hungry people just continue to steal food no matter how long we put them in jail, and it's time to get tough," said Premier Court to a bloodthirsty crowd of Western Australians.

"Perhaps these people will think twice if they know that they will be strangled, cut into a hundred pieces and dropped in acid."

Initial polling has shown that the electorate is broadly in support of the new sentencing approach, especially in property crimes.

"I think a bit of being chopped up and put in acid should rehabilitate those Aboriginals," said Peggy Johnson of Perth. "Not that I'm racist or anything I just want them to stop stealing our property. I mean you don't see us stealing their property, do you?"

The Labor party in Western Australia has decided to follow their Federal counterparts and take a strong stance against the new sentencing laws despite the strong support in the community. "We think that strangling and cutting up is enough," said WA Labor leader Dr Geoff Gallop. "Acid costs too much. It's just another drain on taxpayer's pockets. It may even have implications for those whatchamacallit things .. um .. human rights."

Meanwhile representatives of the Pakistani legal system have reacted with shock to Richard Courts' slated use of their sentencing approach.

"I believe Mr Court has missed the fact that our sentencing is based on the "eye for an eye" principle. The sentence against Javed Iqbal is because he strangled, chopped up and placed his 100 child victims in acid," said Judge Allah Baksh Ranja , who initially sentenced Iqbal.

Mr Court reacted angrily to the suggestion that there was any validity to the 'eye for an eye' approach. "What kind of savage nation implements an eye for an eye approach? You've only got two eyes, whereas under our legislation it's three strikes and you're out. Plus, we're dealing with hungry people here. What do you expect us to do when we try to sentence them - go ahead and eat them right back?"

Preliminary enquiries have already sourced a reliable second-hand supply of acid from the South Australian town of Snowtown, which is proven to decompose human flesh. Members of the WA Liberal party have rallied behind Court's plan. "Besides, a good strangling never did my wife any harm," said former Federal Liberal MP Noel Creighton-Browne.

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  Issue 48 contents

Interview: The New President
At the end of her first week in the job, new ACTU President Sharan Burrow trades emails with Workers Online.

Health: Making Sense of Medicare
Nurses lift the lid on the Medicare myths as they shape up for a major national campaign.

Unions: Bush Bashing
The Finance Sector Union is taking to the road to pressure the government to impose community service obligations on banks.

Politics: The French Connection
While Victorian building unions are seeking a 36 hour week, Eurpoean nations like France are taking a more communcal approach to working time.

Economics: Mutual Obligation
New statistics show that an increasing number of people are volunteering to contribute to the community.

History: Living Library - Part II
More on the rich labour history that is housed within the walls of Sydney's Mitchell Library.

International: Russian Revolution
Russian trade unions are calling for the revision of a draft Labour Code, against the backdrop of Presidential elections.

Review: Casino Royale
Laurie Aaron's new book is sparking a lively debate about how a progressive agenda can be adapted to the challenges of globalisation.

Satire: Chop ‘em Up and Stick ‘em in Acid”
The West Australian Government is poised to pass Pakistani-style sentencing laws.

» Workers Demand Internet Access to Organise

» ILO Condemns Australian Labor Laws

» Flying Doctor Grounds Aussie Jobs

» Bank-Bulance Hits the Road

» April Deadline on Olympics Pay Claim

» Pressure Builds on Stellar Contract

» Shares Plummets But Rio Bosses Get Millions

» Nurses to Launch Medicare Campaign

» Action Boosts Wages for Disabled Workers

» SA Workers Close Building Industry

» Political Economy for Activists

» Workers to Set the Tunes for Dili Streets

» OBITUARY - George Petersen (1921-2000)

» The Soapbox

» Sport

» Trades Hall

» Tool Shed

» An Open Letter to Ansett

» Moved by Wal's Life Story

» The Problem With Mandatory Sentencing

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