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  Issue No 47 Official Organ of LaborNet 24 March 2000  

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Satire

Toddler Death Fallout: BMW Releases New Oven

Extracted from The Chaser

The Victorian Government has turned up the heat on the gambling and car industries following a spate of children being locked inside cars.

 
 

The pressure comes after a toddler died in his mother's car outside a pub while she used the poker machines inside.

The newly elected Victorian government's "Compassionate Gambling" policy is aimed at cutting down the social costs of gambling. "If pubs are going to encourage parents to gamble then they should provide créches or at the very least employ someone on hot days to sponge down the kids in the parking lots."

A spokesperson for the pub involved in the death said it regretted the incident. "We were offering very long odds on the baby dying so we had to deal with several large pay outs. I had no idea how weak toddlers are - my dog survived longer than him."

Meanwhile, an internal police investigation is underway after it was revealed that the fatal car received two parking tickets in the period while the child struggled inside. A spokesperson for the Roads and Traffic authority has denied that their officers may have acted without compassion. "We acted very humanely, we should have towed the car, but we're tracking lightly".

Police described the scene that met them when the child's steaming corpse was brought to their attention. "You just can't believe that something like this could happen" said Inspector Mueller of the Victorian Homicide Squad, "the kid was completely crisp on the outside but still tender on the inside. We got there just in time ... before he was overdone."

"We were very tempted to just add some seasoning and tuck in."

The death has led consumers groups to call for cooking timers to be installed in all family vehicles. The issue intensified late last week hen a 14 month old child was rescued from a black BMW which he'd been left in unattended by his parents in Dee Why.

Police were immediately called to the scene and arrived within minutes, breaking the car's windows to release the boy after a terrifying 10 minute ordeal. BMW has announced an inquiry into the incident. A company representative said that BMW was concerned that it took less han 15 minutes to break in to the car, and announced it would be improving the strength of its car windows.

The mother was angry about police involvement incident. "I can't believe they rescued the baby at the expense of that window. Both take nine months to replace, but you have to pay to replace the window. It'll ruin my no claim bonus."


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*   Issue 47 contents

In this issue
Features
*  Interview: Telstra Troubleshooter
Andrew Hillard first blew the whistle on Mal Colston’s expenses rorts; now he’s taking on Telstra over its tactics to drive down wages and conditions.
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*  Unions: A Christmas (Recruitment) Story
Staff at the Illawarra Mutual Building Society organised their own Christmas present - and, with the help of a little e-mail, delivered 80 new members to the ASU's Clerical and Administrative Branch.
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*  International: A Move to the Left?
John Passant look’s at ‘Red Ken’ Livingstone’s tilt at Mayor of London and what it means for the Radical Left.
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*  Legal: Going Broke: What Workers Should Do
A no nonsense guide to protecting your entitlements when the boss goes bust.
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*  Politics: "I Can't Believe It's Not Peter Reith":
The NSW Labor Government is waging a dirty campaign against the NSW Teachers Federation in order to gain the upper hand in the long running award dispute.
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*  History: One Big Nation
In the 1920’s rural Australia was arguing for its share of the national wealth through The Bush Workers Propaganda Group.
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*  Satire: Toddler Death Fallout: BMW Releases New Oven
The Victorian Government has turned up the heat on the gambling and car industries following a spate of children being locked inside cars.
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*  Review: The Stranger from Hobart
In his controversial new book, Peter Botsman lifts the lid on the unsung hero of federation, Andrew Inglis Clark
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News
»  Insurance Deal Guarantees Entitlements
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»  Casual Work Inquiry Moves Closer
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»  Questions Over National Push for 36 Hours Week
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»  WA Govt Pulls Plug on Unionists
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»  A Fair Day’s Surf
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»  Hotel Workers Jam AIRC
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»  PM's Security Guards Walk off the Job
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»  SOCOG Dances: Budget Not There
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»  Women Win Right To Wear Trousers
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»  Another Rustbucket On Our Coast
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»  Catholic School Teachers Endorse Strike Action
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»  We Can't Share the Spirit If We Can’t Afford the Rent
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»  Unionist Honoured Posthumously
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»  Radio Free East Timor
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Columns
»  The Soapbox
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»  The Locker Room
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»  Trades Hall
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»  Tool Shed
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Letters to the editor
»  Carr's Parisian Lunchmate
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»  Send Us a Letter
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