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  Issue No 45 Official Organ of LaborNet 10 March 2000  

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Satire

Kerosene Dilution Racket

Extracted from The Chaser

The nursing home industry has been rocked by a new scandal with the revelation that some unscrupulous proprietors have been diluting their patients' kerosene baths with illicit liquids.

 
 

The Minister for Excise and Aged Care, Ms Bronwyn Bishop, has admitted that investigations are under way. "There are some very disturbing allegations about dilution," said Ms Bishop, "I've received complaints about the use of hygiene products other than kerosene, including the notorious paint stripper toluene and, in some extreme cases, hydrogen dioxide."

"I am deeply concerned by these new allegations" said the Minister. "My Department was only informed about them in mid-1998 and today I will be launching an immediate investigation. It is every old person's right to bathe in full-strength kerosene and we will not tolerate some pensioners getting second- best treatment."

But industry insiders allege the dilution scandal is the result of government policies affecting the pricing of petroleum products. "A simple kerosene bath for our valued customers has gone up by 12 per cent over the last fortnight" said one proprietor, who refused to be named. "It's enough to drive your son to suicide."

Critics have claimed that even bathing in kerosene may not be best medical practice. But the Minister has rejected these claims. "An envigorating bath never hurt anyone - personally I bathe in formaldehyde daily, and look at me. I function about as well as any average pensioner if I recall correctly."

Meanwhile numerous petrol station owners have complained that nursing homes are pushing up the price of paint thinner. "Not that this effects us at all," said one station owner. "We are just concerned for the housepainting industry


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*   Issue 45 contents

In this issue
Features
*  Interview: Working Women
Nareen Young talks about how services are being delivered to our most vulnerable workers - and what unions need to do to make them their own.
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*  Unions: Into the New Frontier
IT professionals are part of the new workforce that unions need to win over - and while they are often contractors, they're workers too.
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*  History: Handling The Ladies
1943 - women were filling the gap in the workforce left by the diggers abroad and Australian managers needed some advice on how to deal with these strange creatures.
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*  Technology: Building The Hypermacho Man
In a stinging critque of the �Wired� culture, Melanie Stewart Miller argues digital cultural is creating a new super-Man.
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*  International: The Long March Home
Trade union women round the world used International Women�s Day to launch the World March of Women Against Poverty and Violence.
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*  Satire: Kerosene Dilution Racket
The nursing home industry has been rocked by a new scandal with the revelation that some unscrupulous proprietors have been diluting their patients� kerosene baths with illicit liquids.
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*  Review: Power and the Back Bar
In an upcoming book, Julia Gillard argues the ALP retains a male culture that is fast losing step with contemporary society.
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News
»  Services Threatened Over Olympic Bonus
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»  Games Edict: Dance for Free
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»  Revealed: Secret State Transit Corporatisation Plans
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»  Women Demand Better Pay from Faye
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»  Telstra, Banks Whack Rural Australia
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»  Casuals Inquiry Still On Union Agenda
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»  Shaw, Sams Pay Tribute to John Whelan
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»  Teachers� Website Mysteriously Blocked
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»  Cash Bonus for Bilingual Workers
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»  Women Demand Better Pay from Faye
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»  Shareholders Push Global Action
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»  Fair Wear Conquers Schools
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»  TWU Calls on Workers to Steer Clear of Woolworths
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»  Push to Strike Out Parrish Directors
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Columns
»  The Soapbox
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»  Sport
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»  Trades Hall
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»  Tool Shed
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Letters to the editor
»  TV Show Seeks Bankrupt Worker
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»  Crosby Spot On
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»  Confused About Workplace Rights
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»  Global Campaign Against Yahoo!
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»  Teachers Row
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