
Issue No 38		05 November 1999

Satire

Gay Scientists Isolate Christian Gene

By The Chaser

Gay scientists today released a study which, they claim, at last identifies the "Christian Gene".

The controversial research may end the long running debate about the cause of Christianity.

"Our research suggests that Christians may not actually be able to help themselves," said one scientist. The theory casts doubt on the traditional belief that Christianity can be blamed on a child's upbringing.

The parents of one Christian have welcomed the news with relief. "We always worried that if we'd done something different our child would not have ended up a Christian."

But converting the research into a commercial cure may take years. The wait leaves many families frustrated. "We have sent our children to camps to cure them, but no matter how many times we play them Pet Shop Boys they just come back talking about Jesus," said one gay parent.

Part of the delay is because the scientists need approval from ethics boards to further their study. "Obviously there are those who'll say genetic modification is just playing God," said one researcher, "but now we can at least cure them of this argument."

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  Issue 38 contents

Interview: Peter Reith
Weï¿½ve fought him for the last four years, perhaps itï¿½s time to try to understand him.

Education: The Boston Strangler
If the teachers' salaries "offer" had been any good, John Aquilina, the Minister for Good News Only, would have made the announcement and been seen to promote it.

Economics: Key Indicators
A new ILO publication provides real cross national comparisons which show that Australian workplaces rate very well on productivity, wages and non wage measures

Unions: Dili's Union Presence
The International Federation of Journalistsï¿½ Safety Office for the Media in East Timor (SOMET) is conducting an investigation into the recent killings of two journalists in East Timor.

History: Maritime Dispute Records
A Joint ACTU ï¿½ ASSLH project will identify and preserve as many records as possible arising from the 1997-98 Maritime Dispute.

International: Western Mining into Guns and Gold
An Australian mining company, Western Mining Company Limited (WMCL), has effectively won the support of the Philippines army in its battle with traditional owners in Southern Mindano.

Satire: Gay Scientists Isolate Christian Gene
Gay scientists today released a study which, they claim, at last identifies the ï¿½Christian Gene".

Labour Review: What's New in the Information Centre
View the latest issue of Labour Review, our resource for students, delegates and officials.

» Reith : Directly Elect the ACTU President Too

» Unions Launch Search to Fill Games With Local Workers

» Public Servants Offered Quadruple Time for New Years Eve

» If You Want to Protest - Dump the Preamble

» Six Minutes To Clean a Classroom: Cleaners Draw the Line

» New Labour Advisory Council Meets

» Teachers Pay Site Doesnï¿½t Give Full Story

» Bankstown Students Win Union Support

» Workers to Use AGM to Call Telstra to Account

» Unions On Line Conference

» Foxy Officials to Crash Backlot

» POSITION VACANT - APHEDA, Union Aid Abroad.

» Guest Report

» Sport

» Trades Hall

» Piers Watch

» Lines of Demarcation

» Referendum? No Dam(n) Choice!

» With Friends Like These ...

» Get Real

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