
Issue No 36		22 October 1999

Satire

Direct Electionists to Keep Voting No

By The Chaser

Pro-direct election republicans who plan to vote "no" in the upcoming referendum have announced plans to extend their approach to every future election held in Australia.

"We're in favour a republic, sure, but we're voting against this referendum because it doesn't make exactly the changes we want" said Mr Phil Cleary, the former Independent MP for Wills, "and now we're realising that's always going to be the case. Take the Ralph Report - I think corporate tax rates should be reduced by 15%, so there's no way I'd vote for a stupid 10% cut".

A spokesdolphin for the Green Party said it was pushing for an altogether different system of executive rule. "We want Australia to have a beautiful garden hedge as President. Under the proposed system, there is no way a hedge would be chosen by a two-thirds majority of Parliament, even if you had a whole load of gardeners making recommendations. Our parliamentarians are generally far too sensible. However, under a direct elect system, we believe that a hedge would at least have a fighting chance."

Mr Peter Reith, the Federal Workplace Relations Minister and a prominent direct electionist also supports the plan to vote "No" forever. "I've built a career on negative campaigning," said Mr Reith. "Now what I really want is

to become Prime Minister, and I certainly won't be saying 'yes' to anyone else." Reith is intending to run a grass-roots campaign modelled on Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen's 1986 push for Canberra under the slogan "No for PM".

These views are also shared by former Independent MP Ted Mack. "I've always said that the current republican model was undemocratic, but the other day I realised that the whole democratic system is undemocratic," said the maverick politician. "People used to ask me what I thought about

things, and why should that change just because I'm no longer in Parliament? I'm voting 'no' until we have a political system that reflects the will of the people - or at least this person".

Meanwhile, NSW Liberal leader Kerry Chikarovski has endorsed the plan and has offered to put her prodigiously negative influence to work for the cause. As expected, the "No" forces have been quick to reject the offer.

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  Issue 36 contents

Interview: When Allï¿½s Not WEL
Suzanne Hammond explains how the federal governmentï¿½s decision to cut off funding to the Womensï¿½ Electoral Lobby wil impact on all women.

Republic: The Great Constitutional Swindle
In an upcoming book, Peter Botsman argues the blanding out of Australian consitutional history is one of the big barriers to the Republican cause.

Unions: Beaten by the Clock
Ron Callus from ACIRRT counts the social cost of increased working hours.

International: Pakistan Military Urged to Protect Workers' Rights
The ICFTU is urging General Pervez Musharraf, who yesterday seized power in a military coup, to take urgent steps to ensure a return to constitutional rule in the shortest possible time.

History: How the Cunning Fox Survived
Len Fox recently turned 94. He celebrated the event by sending out copies of his latest publication to friends; a booklet of his selected pencil and crayon sketches since 1925, with autobiographical commentaries.

Satire: Direct Electionists to Keep Voting No
Pro-direct election republicans who plan to vote ï¿½noï¿½ in the upcoming referendum have announced plans to extend their approach to every future election held in Australia.

Labour Review: What's New at the Information Centre
Read the latest issue of Labour review, a resource for union officials and students.

Review: Bowing down before Globalzilla
It is my experience that books that have the word "globalization" in the title should be avoided at all costs.

» Timorese Appeal to Democrats to Dump Reithï¿½s Wave

» Opera House Keeps New Years in the Family

» Stressed Out: The Incredibly Shrinking Lunch Break

» Kennett Fall a Warning to Carr

» Combet Steps Up To The Plate

» Thirty Hours at the Wheel - Then Sacked for Complaining

» Reithï¿½s Plan for Universities Exposed

» Hockey Sticks With the Banks

» Push to Downgrade Industrial Tribunals

» Peace Stalks the Gong as Matters Bows Out

» Rock the Republic - Itï¿½s Time

» Guest Report

» Sport

» Trades Hall

» Piers Watch

» Vizard Critics Peddling Lies

» Republic Soapbox

» Barbies and Kens Eye High Office

» Guilty! I Agree with Howard

» Egan Speaks - Des Moore's No Friend of Mine!

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