
Issue No 33		01 October 1999

Satire

Police Cut-Backs Lead To Drop In Organised Crime

By The Chaser

An audit of the NSW Police has revealed that they have been seriously cutting back their operating budgets to ensure that they will be able to afford the increased security costs of the Olympics.

"People will feel a lot safer at the Olympics due to this re-prioritisation of funding," said Police Commissioner Ryan. "At least those that survive the intermediate state of anarchy will."

Despite initial skepticism towards the plan many community groups have come out in support of the cutbacks.

"Harassment of Aboriginals in the street has plunged severely since the police cutbacks were instituted," said a spokesperson from the Redfern Legal Centre.

Organised crime has been hit hard by the reduction in police salaries. With their usual salary police were able to work for the Mob at a highly subsidised rate.

"Previously the police were already getting paid when they did business for us. Now we have to pay the full price for a crooked cop," said one disgruntled crime boss.

The cutbacks are only one part of the efforts to ensure safety during the Olympics. "Experience from Atlanta suggests that nearly 60% of people feel safe in their cars, and let's face it, that's where Sydney siders will be spending most of their time during the Olympics," said a spokesperson for Olympics minister Mr Knight.

Mr Knight also claimed that safety had been increased due to ticket rescheduling. "Terrorists will have no chance to plan sabotages as they will get as little notice about their tickets as the rest of people."

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  Issue 33 contents

Interview: The Boys
Labor Party heavyweights Eric Roozendaal and Damian O'Connor will lock horns this weekend. They fire their first shots.

Economics: Reasons to Be Cheerful
Can we change the way we look at the economy to better reflect community happiness and well-being?

Unions: Breaking the Wave
ACTU President's submission to the Senate Inquiry into the Workplace Relations Act.

International: The Wisdom of Solomon
A disturbing case from the Pacific where corporate lawyers are playing a deadly game.

History: Groundhog Day
Ghosts of Conferences past: some strangely familiar debates and decisions from previous state ALP conferences

Legal: Bad, Bad Things
Some of Australia's leading industrial lawyers argue that the Workplace Relations Act breaches basic international obligations.

Review: Tailing Out
As the BHP steelworks close in Newcastle a special book chronicles the stories of working live that have just become history.

Satire: Police Cut-Backs Lead To Drop In Organised Crime
An audit of the NSW Police has revealed that they have been seriously cutting back their operating budgets to ensure that they will be able to afford the increased security costs of the Olympics.

Work/Time/Life: It's Official: Aussies Work Harder
Australians continue to work long hours in contrast to a world-wide trend in industrialised countries that has seen hours at work remaining steady or declining in recent years.

» Station Cuts Derailed - But More Hits for the Scull

» Social Audit Backed by Community Groups

» Unions Take Common Priorities to State Conference

» Simmering Discontent Hits Boiling Point

» Public Sector Job Numbers Rubbery

» Timor Protest to be Dumped in Reith Wave

» Big Lunch Break for Stress-Free Day

» Arch Apologises for Youth Wage Debacle

» Clean Air Policy Up In Smoke

» Child Carers Stretched to the Limit

» Building Workers Won�t Settle for Half Pay

» Life, Art and Politics