||Issue No. 322||01 September 2006|
Justice, Applied Liberally
Interview: Australia’s Most Wanted
Industrial: The Fox and the Contractor
Unions: Industrial Wasteland
International: Two Bob's Worth
Economics: National Interest
Environment: The Real Dinosaur
History: Only In Spain?
Review: Clerk Off
Dirty Deeds, Done With Sheep
What is it with Piers Akerman and barnyard animals?
Fresh from lamenting the fact that a man and a goat cannot express their love in holy matrimony, Big Piers is carrying on like a pork chop over Play School's reworking of the nursery rhyme Baa, Baa, Black Sheep.
According to Piers's intelligence, a song appeared on Play School with the lyrics: "Baa, Baa, Wooly Sheep, have you any wool?"
The problem for Australia's self-appointed Joe McCarthy is not that the question is redundant, but it's another example of the Marxist-Leninist agenda at the national broadcaster.
It's proof positive the ABC, in league with the ALP and the union movement, is using subversive means to undermine everything from ripping off kids to mom's apple pie.
Piers is onto something.
The Toolshed can reveal part of Greg Combet's morning routine is to phone Play School's producers and dictate which window will be looked through for that day.
In fact, the conspiracy goes much further - the rocket clock is straight from Pyongyang, Big Ted bears an uncanny resemblance to Joseph Stalin and when you play show's theme tune backwards you get the preamble to the Communist Manifesto.
But the smoking gun was discovered when Piers's investigation led him to the UnionTeach website.
How he managed to connect Play School's alternative lyrics with a resource designed for teachers in helping them deal with workplace issues was a work of genius - it still has The Toolshed baffled.
In fact, we're sure parents would welcome a man of Piers's intellect taking on board the role as director of children's programming on the ABC to protect their young from values such as tolerance and respect - just nursery rhymes as they should be.
At least then they wouldn't have to put up with his three bags full in the paper each week.
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