||Issue No. 318||03 August 2006|
Don't Bank on Costello's Oil Shocker
Interview: A Life And Death Matter
Unions: Fighting Back
Industrial: What Cowra Means
Environment: Scrambling for Energy Security
Politics: Page Turner
Economics: The State of Labour
International: Workers Blood For Oil
History: Liberty in Spain
Review: Go Roys, Make A Noise
The Locker Room
What Was He On About?
Belly On Balance
Yes, welcome back, welcome back...to the Tool Shed.
The sporting world was thrown into turmoil last week when it was discovered that Max Walker was still alive.
The one time Melbourne footballer and the only bowler in living memory to use the karma sutra to develop his run-up, Walker was aghast this week that the MCG could be used by ordinary people.
"I love the MCG. It should be for the good of the people, not for the bad of the people," said Walker, upon hearing that the ground would be packed out in November with working families protesting about WorkChoices.
It is puzzling as to which aspect of WorkChoices Walker thinks is for the good of the people.
Does Walker prefer getting people to work on weekends for a flat rate? I guess that would save people from having to get involved in grass roots sport, freeing up more people to attend motivational speeches from Mr Walker.
Or maybe Max prefers people being able to be sacked without notice or reason, like his colleague Bill Lawrie was as Australian captain?
Maybe the former test cricketer thinks that having a safe workplace, being treated with dignity and respect, job security and a living wage are bad for people?
Or maybe our Tool Of The Week likes WorkChoices because he's a brain dead klutz who has spent his entire life sucking up to the big end of town like some performing monkey for Melbourne's B list.
When Keith Stackpole, Ron Barassi, Dean Jones and even that arch-trotskyite Sam Newman, have no problem with working families using the ground, surely Max has some idea about how far on the outer he is.
It's not as if Max Walker is really in the first tier of the pantheon of Australian sportspeople - with that trade mark moustache it's hard to imagine him getting a thousand wickets, or a thousand of anything else really.
After all, he should be able to remember that Billy Graham used the MCG on his crusade for lost souls and Jimmy Swaggart's missus. If it's good enough for televangelism, the Pope, David Bowie and Madonna, it's good enough for working families.
Cripes, even Billy Joel has played a concert there, how's that supposed to be for the good of the people Max?
Imagine if Max Walker could use his amazing powers for good, instead of evil.
Sure, we'd be less one motivational speaker, but hey, that's the price we have to pay if the MCG is to be used for the good of the people, not for the bad of the people.
As for our Tool Of The Week, he should stick to his one great achievement in life, blowing the theme to Wide World of Sports out of his nostril.
Wonderful stuff that.
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