
Issue No 31		17 September 1999

Piers Watch

Piers Tugs for Timor

As international leaders struggle to bring peace to East Timor this week, our hero elbowed his way to the head of the diplomatic pack with a personal letter to President Habibe.

"Dear President Habibe," he begins, in what might just be the naffest offering of his career.

Casting himself in the role of spokesman for "thoughtful" people from both Indonesia and Australia, Piers proceeds to ignore the vast social, economic and cultural gulf between the two nations to reinvent their people as long lost siblings.

"This appeal may seem pretentious, perhaps even precious .. " Piers fears at one point. For once he's correct - although naive, opportunist and facile would have been added in a more searching analysis.

So what's he trying to achieve? Parrot Howard's line of deep kinship between the people as relations collapse under the government's own diplomatic ineptitude? Help deal with the national feeling of impotence by pretending he can speak for the populace? Or does he really see himself as a player in a conflict that he has no real understanding of?

What come shining through in the full-page of tripe is that Piers has no ideas. He begs Habibe's indulgence - but then does nothing more than offer a fractured pen-pic of history - WWII, Indonesian independence, the annexation of Timor, the Asian crisis.

There's nothing behind the words - no new ideas on moving forward, just bland (and possibly erroneous) assertions such as "some things don't change, fundamental values among them ..." Obviously, Piers has never been exposed to the important academic debates around the Asian human rights model. The view form Holt Street, as always is clearer.

But the crowning glory of this pompous parody of journalism is the matey sign-off - "Best wishes for the election, Piers (hand-signed)".

And if your stomach was not already churning try the PS's at the end of the letter- the first an invitiation to Habibe to e-mail Piers direct if him or drop him a line through the Telegraph switchboard - just hope he doesn't try during the lunching hours.

Dumber still was the invitation to pass the letter on to General Wiranto - the guy who's threatening to knock him off in a coup!.

**********************

You can imagine the scene in the Presidential Palace in Jakarta. "General, its Habibe here - you better get up here quick. Piers has dropped us a line."

Wiranto enters the office , breathlessly. "What's he come up with, chief?" Habibe looks at the letter, looks up at Wiranto, looks at the letter again. "I think he wants us all to be nice to each other."

"What a statesman!," they cry and call off the militia and peace is restored.

Actually, there's another scene that comes more readily to mind. Habibe emerges from the smallest room in the Presidential Palace, a copy of the Telegraph folded under his arm with a satisfied smile on his face.

"Those Australians really know how to clear out the system," he sighs, "I haven't felt this free in decades."

The burden lifted, he calls off the militia and peace is restored.

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Issue 31 contents

Interview: Sadly Vindicated
Labor�s foreign affairs spokesman Laurie Brereton has spent the past year warning that East Timor would explode without a UN peacekeeping force. Now he�s had to watch his predictions come true.

International: In the Bunker
One of the last reporters to leave East Timor, Workers Online's HT Lee remembers the week that Dili burned.

Republic: Tarred With the Same Brush
Neville Wran asks why it is that the most fervant monarchists are also the most eager union-bashers.

Unions: Hard Labour
Prisoner educators argue more attention needs to be given to rehabilitation through teaching, but they�re facing an uphill battle to convince authorities.

History: Labour and Community
A history conference in Wollongong next month will look at the changing role for labour into the next century.

Review: Bobbin' Up - 40 Years On
Forty years after its first publicaton and several European translations Bobbin Up, a classic of industrial fiction, is coming home.

Satire: East Timor Poll Triumph: Support for Jakarta Up 21 Per Cent
The Indonesian Government has declared that it is pleased with the result of the independence referendum in which 21% of East Timorese voted in support of maintaining links with Indonesia.

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» Nurses Collect Vital Medical Supplies

» Industrial Faction for Pre-Conference Caucus

» Lees Backs Freeloader Laws

» Outsourcing Decision - Banks Under the Gun

» Reith Forces Truckies to Speed

» He Talks the Talk - But Can He Walk the Walk?

» Commission Tells AGC to Get Into the Nineties

» Cost-Cutting Puts Clinical Waste in Landfill

» Prisons Reject Free Computers

» US Defence Giant Eyes Welfare Sector