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Issue No. 306 12 May 2006  
E D I T O R I A L

Good Times
Hands up who watched Kim Beazley’s budget in reply last night? None of you? Thought so.

F E A T U R E S

Interview: Out of the Bedroom
Reverend Jim Wallis is leading a crusade to take the moral debate into the public arena.

Industrial: Cloak and Dagger
The Howard Government has begun a series of workshops to sell its WorkChoice vsision. Sean Ambrose sneaked through the doors for Workers Online.

Unions: Lockout!
Jim Comerford’s eyewitness account of the 15-month Lockout of 10,000 New South Wales miners in1929-1930 records the inside story of Australia’s most bloody and bitter industrial conflict

Legal: The Fantasy of Choice
Professor Ron McCallum argues the WorkChoices laws are built on a fundamental fiction.

Politics: Labor Pains
Labor has dealt itself out of the crucial workplace relations debate by failing to articulate a credible policy alternative to Howard’s new WorkChoices legislation, argues Mark Heearn and Grant Michelson

Economics: Economics and the Public Purpose
Evan Jones pays tribute to John Kenneth Galbraith, a big man who never stopped arguing that economics should serve the public good, not create public squalor.

Corporate: House of Horrors
Anthony Keenan takes a tour of Sydney’s notorious, Asbestos House, courtesy of Gideon Haig.

History: Clash Of Cultures
Neale Towart with a new take on Mayday through the words of a punk icon

International: Childs Play
An ILO report into Child Labour shows some progress is being made to curb this gobal scurge .

Culture: Folk You Mate!
Phil Doyle dodges Morris Dancers to find signs of Working Life at the National Folk Festival in Canberra over the Easter Weekend.

Review: Last Holeproof Hero
Finally, a superhero who has worked out how to wear his underpants. Nathan Brown ogles V for Vendetta

N E W S

 Howard Hunts Heroes

 Workplace Cop Shrugs Shoulders

 Gerry Built Apartments Fall Behind

 NFF Axe Over Childcare

 Ballarat Suffers Maxi-Rort

 Hunter Collects on Jobs

 Company Doctors Terminal

 Killer Bosses Swoop on Croweaters

 US: Thousands Fired For Joining Unions

 Cozzies Skills Skid

 Howard’s Unpaid Photo Op

 Activist's What's On!

C O L U M N S

The Soapbox
Albo's Meltdown
Labor's environment spokesman Antony Albanese argues that Chrernobyl is one reason why the ALP should stand firm on nuclear.

The Locker Room
A Sort Of Homecoming
Phil Doyle plays to the whistle.

Parliament
The Westie Wing
Our favourite MP, Ian West reports from Macquarie Street on some strange collective acction.

L E T T E R S
 Immigration Department Strikes Again
 Budget Dividend
 The Real Truth About Independent Contractors
WHAT YOU CAN DO
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Tool Shed

Blatant Self Promotion II


Continuing a fine tradition of bacterial marketing, this week Phil Doyle has put himself in the Tool Shed.

*****

It was a tough decision, made after minutes if not seconds of deliberation, but this shamelessly self-indulgent promotion of the attractively packaged Deck Of Tools has rendered the author of this diatribe to be none other than a Tool himself.

It is not a unique observation, shared as it is by many who have observed this author's unique take on the nature of life, language and fashion sense.

As an unreconstructed Bogan, and someone who lists among their hobbies as drinking and smoking, marketing has presented itself as a new challenge.

Although stooping to new lows has never previously presented itself as a problem to this author, luckily Workers Online has a precedent to work off.

Just as after edition 100 we had a veritable array of toolworthy behaviour, so it is 200 odd editions on, with some sterling performances across the land, including:

- A half arsed Prime Minister invoking the spirit of mateship while doing his damnedest to rip it up and turn us all into a nation of backstabbing brats and slaves.

- A media mogul who decided to step into the limelight and remind us that donations to a worthy cause were a good thing because they got your company mentioned on the telly.

- A workplace relations minister from a parallel universe who seems to think that safety will always take precedence over profit.

- A right wing think tank that believes that human life can be protected by the invisible hand of market forces, although most of us would prefer a decent harness or something solid between us and the moving parts of the machinery.

It is interesting to note, over 300 editions of Workers Online that we have never been short of a tool each week.

We know the universe to be infinite because it has to hold the cluelessness of those that like to think they run the shop. From the grubby little embarrassment who passes himself off as the Prime Minister, to the empty wastes inside the head of his morally and intellectually bankrupt treasurer, through to the coke addled darlings of the Eastern Suburbs tennis circuit, we have a constant source of amusement, and an endless reminder as to why we will win - because, when it's all said and done, the people we are up against couldn't run a tap.

Watching the Howard government is like watching a car crash in slow motion.

To celebrate Workers Online lasting this long, an achievement in itself given this journalist's ambivalent relationship to the concept of a deadline, we have produced an attractively packaged deck of cards we describe as our Deck Of Tools.

From Piers the Hutt through to George W Bush we present a veritable cavalcade of tools, and we are offering this limited edition offer to you our valued reader, for the bargain basement price of $10.00 (A$20.00 for overseas readers).

Cards are a great way to socialise in and out of work. Even David Beckham can play snap. Some journalists can even count to ten. So the Deck Of Tools is a barrel load of fun waiting to happen.

They also make excellent gifts to Federal Liberal politicians and annoying conservative in-laws.

To get your very own Deck of Tools, and make the most of this new low in advertorial content, simply send your cheque or money order, along with your return postage details and the quantity of decks you want, to:

Workers Online Limited Edition Deck Of Tools Offer

Level 2

Trades Hall

4 Goulburn Street

Sydney 2000

Normal service will resume next week, but Phil Doyle will still be a tool.

It's good to know that some things remain constant in these troubled and ever-changing times.



Show Us YOUR TOOL!

The most inspiring interpretation of this week's tool get's a souvenir edition of Ship of Tools. Deface the Tool of the Week, click the button above to post your artwork, fill out the form and send your entry in and we'll post the winners next week in the Tool of the Week Gallery.

 
 

Ship of Tools - All the tools in one shed!

View our Gallery of Tools

Nominate a Tool!

Your Name:
Your Email Address:
Your Country: Your State:
The Tool you wish to nominate:
Type why you think this person should be Tool of the Week here:

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