||Issue No. 302||07 April 2006|
The Cowra Clause
Interview: Head On
Unions: Do You Have a Moment?
Industrial: Vital Signs
Economics: Taxing Times
Environment: It Ain’t Necessarily So
History: Melbourne’s Hours
Immigration: Opening the Floodgates
Review: Pollie Fiction
Poetry: The Cabal
The Locker Room
Belly Spreads The Word
Lying Lies And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
The Ten of Hearts has been at it again.
Our beloved Workplace relations Minister disappeared up his own logical fundament when he accused a NSW employer of misadvising themselfs.
Apparently, according to Andrews, there are sound protections in the WorkChoices legislation, a statement which left them all in stitches over at head office.
About the only obvious protection provided by WorkChoices would be using its couple of thousand odd pages to clobber someone over the head with if they came at you with evil intentions.
It's something we could probably clear up with our Tool Of The Week, after all, this man has, literally, written the book on evil intentions.
The idea that you protect people by sacking them is certainly a unique departure from most conventional wisdom vis-a-vis the workplace.
Only someone as naive as a Siberian Ice Cream salesman could believe that taking away protection for workers wouldn't be ruthlessly used against people who, after all, are only your fellow human beings.
But the fact that we share a common humanity appears to fly obliquely over the beady little eyes of the Altar Boy, along with most other bits of information, such as which direction his arse is pointing in and what day it is.
Now, Kev can be forgiven for being as thick as two short planks, after all, that is the nature of being a part of that class of people that run the shop these days, but when he expects us to be as stupid as him he may run into trouble.
When the pressure from the union movement shining a Klieg Light on the situation at Cowra proved too embarrassing, Kev decided to try a little positive projection.
That Kev would reach for some whacky new age solution should come as no surprise, after all, there really isn't much else left in the kit bag to use to defend a set of laws that will send the standard of living off on a holiday to Argentina for a generation.
So Kev claimed, in true Tony Packard style, that the laws that were used to sack the workers were actually the laws that saved the workers.
Yes, that left everyone else blinking and wondering if Kev was back on the Ritalin or not as well.
Unfortunately Kev's pronouncements on the situation at Cowra were devoid of two essential ingredients: Truth and Common Sense.
While his attempts at positive projection may be considered by some to be a rather advanced form of denial, others with a broader perspective may appreciate that Kev was merely making it all up.
That, and his considered opinion that people were misadvising themselves (which sounds like a rather unconventional activity that appears to run counter to several Vatican Catechisms on keeping the mind and body pure), led to people backing away from Andrews slowly, not taking their eyes off him.
Especially given that his great job-generating policy was seeing people punted from Cairns to Kalgoorlie all week. After all, most people seem to be able to grasp the subtle differences that separate getting a job and getting the sack.
For the slower members of the audience, and that includes you Kev, the difference is that in the former state you have a job, with the latter state meaning you don't have a job.
It is generally accepted that most people on the sane side of the philosophical spectrum see having a job as a good thing, and the absence of a job as a bad thing.
The ten of hearts may wish appreciate this fact as there's going to be a lot of the latter going around in the near future, and a number of people experiencing the bad thing may not be very happy about it at all, and may wish to come after those responsible.
If that happens the responsible parties would probably find a copy of the WorkChoices legislation handy, as a clobbering implement may come in handy.
So our Tool Of The Week is correct, WorkChoices does offer protection, unfortunately not for employees in the workplace though.
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