The Official Organ of LaborNET
click here to view the latest edition of Workers Online
The Official Organ of LaborNET
Free home delivery
Issue No. 276 12 August 2005  
E D I T O R I A L

The Power of One
The power has now shifted. John Howard has control of the Senate by a solitary vote and no matter where your politics lie, the earth has definitely moved.

F E A T U R E S

Interview: On Holiday
Historian Richard White looks back on the Aussie vacation - and finds a way of life is under threat.,

Unions: One Day Longer
Nathan Brown travels to the Boeing picket line and find a group of workers with a steely determination to stick together.

Industrial: Never Mind the Bollocks
Jim Marr plays the Howard Government's industrial relations spin job on its merits.

Politics: Spun Out
Canberra’s latest campaign underlines the need for controls over government advertising, according to Graeme Orr and Joo-Cheong Tham

Economics: If the Grog Don't Get You ....
Evan Jones explains how the way we purchase alcolohol reflects the type of economy we live in.

History: Taking a Stand
Neale Towart looks at two books that chronicle how to build community support against social injustice.

International: The Split
Amanda Tattersal outsider's account of an insider's shake-out at the AFL-CIO Convention 2005

Legal: Pushing the Friendship
George Williams argues that the federal government’s constitutional powers are not sufficient to enact a comprehensive national industrial relations scheme

Poetry: Simple Subtractions
The latest blitz of taxpayer-funded advertising has revealed a crisis of arithmetic in government ranks has moved resident bard David Peetz to prose.

Review: Sydney Trashed
Sydney band SC Trash are on a mission to give new life to folk and country music – and the politics of common sense. Nathan Brown had a beer with them

N E W S

 “Disgusting” AWAs Court Out

 Andrews Agenda Rolled in DEWR

 Sick Days Get Hadgkiss Sniffing

 Fun Guy Skips Work, Docks Staff

 Nurse Launches Neighbourhood Alert

 Security Staff Bush Whacked

 Commo Bank Staff Force Smiles

 Cameron Gets ‘Fair Dinkum’

 Feds: Inconsistency “Not Inconsistent”

 Telstra Dials Up Cash Grab

 Howard Votes Family Last

 PacNat Troops Won't Be Railroaded

 All Aboard Vic Safety Train

 Activist's What's On!

C O L U M N S

Parliament
The Westie Wing
Our favourite MP, Ian West, goes away for a couple of weeks and look what happens…

The Soapbox
The Last Weekend
Unions NSW secretary John Robertson's speech to the Last Weekend - how the Howard government laws will undermine the Ausrtalian way of life.

The Locker Room
A Concept Is Born
In which Phil Doyle helps the proponents of the vision thing across the road.

International
Workers Blood For Oil
A new book by Abdullah Muhsin and Alan Johnson lifts the lid on the bloody reality of US backed democracy for Iraq's trade unions

Postcard
London Post
During his recent stay in London IEU industrial officer John Shapiro was living only a few hundred metres from the site of one of the bomb blasts.

L E T T E R S
 Farmers’ Best Friend
 Govt Has No Case
 Logon to IR
 Ears and Minds
 Howard on the Couch
 Which Bank?
 Kevin the Tool Man
 Tom On Safety
WHAT YOU CAN DO
About Workers Online
Latest Issue
Print Latest Issue
Previous Issues
Advanced Search

other LaborNET sites

Labor Council of NSW
Vic Trades Hall Council
IT Workers Alliance
Bosswatch
Unions on LaborNET
Evatt Foundation


Labor for Refugees

BossWatch



Tool Shed

One Finger Majority


Tool Of The Week Julian McGauran shows us he can count to one

*****

Dere Toole sheb

It iz reely goode now I are being a senertar fer ther guvunmint. Ets harde too bee cownting numbas orl ther time butt I em getting betta. I wil ponch thatt bigg warly Bobb Bruwn ef he owperns hez fatt trap agen.

Julliane McGorran, Senarter bloke fer Victerier

The man who put the word swill in the phrase "unrepresentative swill" has been at it again.

While most coalition senators were pleased to celebrate achieving powers unseen since Sparta conquered Athens by having a good old fashioned stoush out the back of the lunch shed, Julian decided to share his newfound power with the opposition benches.

Control of both houses of Parliament for many means that long held ideological scores can now be settled in policy areas such as industrial relations, health, education, indigenous affairs and welfare. For Julian it means he can stick his finger up at the opposition.

He showed us this last week when he showed the opposition why the English won at Agincourt, giving the representatives of the unwashed the digit by way of communicating his newfound sense of superiority.

And boy, didn't he enjoy it.

The last time he looked that pleased was when he emerged from the milking shed doing up his pants.

It was an understandable reaction as Julian had been under a bit of stress.

Showing their sense of humour, the Nationals decided to elect Julian as their Whip. Julian thought this was a good idea as he'd always been a dab hand at rounding up the cows on the family's Gippsland farm, especially that cute Fresian that was always giving him the eye.

Then, to his horror, Julian found out counting was part of this job, not just giving the old persuader a crack when bringing in the Honourable member for Goldstein in for milking.

So when the new senate went to one of its first divisions it came as no surprise to anyone else who'd spent two minutes with our Tool Of the Week that tallying up votes could take some time. Poor old Julian had to use both hands and all eleven toes.

Those that knew him well were impressed he managed to get to one.

Julian was so relieved when he found out that the government side had 33 numbers to the bad guys 31 numbers he decided to show the full range of his powers of intellectual expression, and he gave the opposition the finger. In true McGauran style he stuffed that up, using the wrong finger.

But, given he is guy who can't walk and chew gum at the same time, we can't be surprised.

Poor old Julian was forced to mumble an apology.

This would never had of happened if he was back in the McGauran family's fiefdom of the central Gippsland, where Julian engages in his hobbies of releasing personal information from coronial inquests of the identities of women who have had to endure a mid-term abortion.

Unlike the building industry legislation he supports, abortion is unfortunately unavailable retrospectively for our Tool Of The Week.



Show Us YOUR TOOL!

The most inspiring interpretation of this week's tool get's a souvenir edition of Ship of Tools. Deface the Tool of the Week, click the button above to post your artwork, fill out the form and send your entry in and we'll post the winners next week in the Tool of the Week Gallery.

 
 

Ship of Tools - All the tools in one shed!

View our Gallery of Tools

Nominate a Tool!

Your Name:
Your Email Address:
Your Country: Your State:
The Tool you wish to nominate:
Type why you think this person should be Tool of the Week here:

------

*   View entire issue - print all of the articles!

*   Issue 276 contents



email workers to a friend printer-friendly version latest breaking news from labornet


Search All Issues | Latest Issue | Previous Issues | Print Latest Issue

© 1999-2002 Workers Online
Workers Online is a resource for the Labour movement
provided by the Labor Council of NSW
URL: http://workers.labor.net.au/276/d_pierswatch_mcg.html
Last Modified: 15 Nov 2005

Powered by APT Solutions
Labor Council of NSW Workers Online
LaborNET