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Issue No. 259 | 15 April 2005 |
Roosting Chooks
Interview: Australia@Work Unions: State of the Union Industrial: Fashion Accessories Legal: Leg Before Picket Politics: Business Welfare Brats Health: Cannabis Controversy Economics: Debt, Deficit, Downturn History: Politics In The Pubs Review: Three Bob's Worth Poetry: Do The Slowly Chokie
Hostile Takeover - Can Howard Do It? Vanstone Shows Brickie�s Cleavage Sparkies Refine Safety Tactics
The Soapbox The Locker Room Culture Parliament
Labor Council of NSW |
Tool Shed Rock Solid, Ironclad Tool
***** Once upon a time there was a man called Tony Abbott. All his adult life Tony knew there was a Medicare system. He had just never had access to it. After all, Tony believed that you shouldn't have access to health care before you could afford it. So Tony got on with his life, spending his days happily arguing that black was white, down was up and that employers needed unfettered control over their workforce. This went on for some time and Tony pushed all thoughts of a Medicare system into the back of his mind until, one day, Tony got a new job as Health Minister, and discovered the Medicare system. Tony was overjoyed. So overjoyed he felt it necessary to tell the world about this long-lost medicare system he had discovered. In the end he spent $20 million telling people how wonderful this newfound medicare system was. Nonetheless, the news that there was a health care system that looked after all Australians, regardless of income, came as something of a shock to Tony. Nonetheless Tony took it all in his stride. It was a momentous occasion. He was looking forward to getting closer to the Medicare system he'd only recently become acquainted with. There was so much to catch up on. Tony decided that what the Medicare system needed to be was a safety net. Imagine Tony's shock when he discovered that the Medicare system wasn't a safety net, but a universal health care system! Tony was a bit embarrassed. He'd gone public over the Medicare system being a safety net, and it turned out it wasn't a safety net at all! He'd promised funding that was an "absolutely rock solid, ironclad commitment". Then it turned out that there wasn't going to be the funding and that, rather, he'd have to dismantle the Medicare system instead. Poor old Tony Abbott; things, like promises and commitments, keep drifting in and out of his life. It's been an emotional time for all of us but luckily Tony lived Toolfully ever after.
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