||Issue No. 240||01 October 2004|
The Premiership Quarter
Interview: The Last Bastian
Unions: High and Dry
Security: Liquid Borders
Industrial: No Bully For You
History: Radical Brisbane
International: No Vacancies
Economics: Life After Capitalism
Technology: Cyber Winners
Poetry: Do It Yourself Poetry
Review: Hard Labo(u)r
The Locker Room
How To Run Society
The Abbott and the Archbishop
"Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive."
- William Shakespeare.
Tony Abbott is degenerating into a sad parody of himself as we draw closer to the day when this chinless wonder pushes his salivating self forward as the great white hope of the Liberal party.
In a discussion on Lateline this week the man who makes Attilla the Hun look like the Dalai Llama discussed child pornography and his relationship with Archbishop George Pell.
By the end of it the Minister for Private Health Insurance looked like one very stunned Mullet.
In a moment of refreshing self-reflection the Member for Warringah admitted that there "was a dark side" and then went on to praise the incompetence of Attorney-General Phil "Monty Burns" Ruddock.
On the question of his portfolio our Tool Of The Week graciously accepted that it wasn't necessarily Liberal party policy that the old should be left to die, but it would be in keeping with his general philosophy of life.
After all, Australian workers know that Abbott's view of industrial relations is not that far removed from bear baiting.
He described the popular ALP health policy as "cute" but "undeliverable". No doubt anything that's based on human decency and fairness is undeliverable under any government that would have Abbott as a member.
The man with all the charm of the Ebola Virus flailed away trying to claim that he had no truck with a health system that actually made people healthy. After all, as Abbott will tell you, a health system is there to make insurers rich, goddamit!
The self-described "imperfect catholic" showed perfect timing in visiting Archbishop George Pell prior to that great bastion of Australian hypocrisy coming out and warning that a vote for Latham was a vote for anarchy and destruction the like of which had not been seen since the Council of Nicea.
Not that Abbott could recall meeting George Pell at first until, with Tony Jones' prompting, it became a case of "oh, thaaaaaat archbishop"!
As Tony Jones pointed out, Abbott has form in this area. Someone, who may or may not have been Tony Abbott, defaced his office prior to his campaign launch achieving some rather over-rated publicity.
This moral zygote would have us believe that he and the archbishop had some innocent "counselling' session. No doubt they did, but it does appear that Abbott was the one doing the counselling.
In the end our Tool Of The Week came out of it looking about as straight as a coathanger.
Abbott the Rabbit looked very much like the bunny caught the headlights of the Australian people.
Abbott rates himself as a chance to overtake Costello in the race to fill the very small shoes of Dear leader Howard. If his Lateline effort is anything to go by our Tool Of The Week will certainly carry on one great Howard tradition.
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