||Issue No. 213||19 March 2004|
Pay For View
Interview: Baby Bust
Safety: Dust To Dust
Bad Boss: Shaming in Print
National Focus: Work's Cripplin' Us
International: Bulk Bullies
History: The Battle for Kelly's Bush
Economics: Aid, Trade And Oil
Review: The Art Of Work
Poetry: Sew His Lips Together
Tom On Drink
Howard Screws Vets
General Cosgrove took time off from his Chicken Little routine last week to join in the public dumping of top cop, Australian Federal Police Commissioner Mick Keelty.
The self important buffoon, fresh from doing what Australian generals do best - fighting wars in faraway lands that have nothing to do with us, had the temerity to suggest that Keelty was wrong in his assertion that the war in Iraq hadn't made Australia a bigger target.
No one in their right mind would seriously believe that.
In using the words 'Cosgrove' and 'intelligence' in a sentence one is tempted to associate the phrases 'not a lot of' and 'lacking'.
Nonetheless this shining product of the Australian Commissioned Officer Class stated that he drew his bizarre conclusions after seeing the same intelligence as Mick Keelty.
What we all know is that he drew whatever conclusions the Prime Miniature told him to draw. After all, he didn't want Howard's chief-of-staff, Arthur Sinodinis yelling down the phone at him.
Intelligence isn't probably the right word to use in relation to a bloke who decided that Australia would be better off with an overpriced, inefficient and unsuitable tank simply so he could go off and play with his American buddies.
This is the bloke who likes to be portrayed as a hero over East Timor, but as we found out, that appears to be only so that the Howard government could bully its way into a one-sided treaty over petrol reserves that doesn't really help the East Timorese at all.
Fighting over oil reserves seems to be a penchant of the good General.
While in East Timor Cosgrove busied himself by calling for the disarming Falintil, the guerilla army of the East Timorese people, describing it as an "untrained and unsanctioned as a military force".
And we all know who trained the Indonesian army while it ran amok in Timor, don't we.
And as for the idea of Falintil laying down its arms while the Indonesian backed militias were still active in the country...smart idea that!
One pro-Falantil source at the time described the move as "suicide".
No wonder half his army is stoned off their heads, if the results of drug tests in Darwin are to be believed.
Then again, if Cosgrove was the genius that stood between you and being sent to die in some godforsaken hole in the interests of cheap petrol then you'd probably want to escape yourself.
Cosgrove's military recently took a rather unhelpfully defensive tone towards an inquiry into deaths in the Australian Armed Services; Cosgrove accused by family members of service men and women who had died as conducting a "cover up"
Now our Tool Of The Week has settled comfortably into the greatest cover up of all - the lies told to the Australian people to protect a dangerous and unjust war that has turned this country into a target for terrorists.
Next time you are a witness to the useless paranoia that accompanies this never ending 'war on terror', such as bored Chubb guards on the Harbour Bridge or the lack of garbage bins at Central Station, then you'll know that thanks to General Cosgrove, the terrorists have already won.
In the middle of all this palaver, last week our Chief Tool had the gall to tell Australia's 'leaders' what was needed to keep up this unending search for a black cat in a dark room that isn't there; our no-brainer war on a concept.
"Quick, slick and accurate decisions" are what's called for, according to our Top Brass Tool.
Well, two out of three ain't bad. Pity about the accuracy.
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