||Issue No. 181||06 June 2003|
History: Nest of Traitors
Interview: A Nation of Hope
Unions: National Focus
Safety: The Shocking Truth
Tribute: A Comrade Departed
History: Working Bees
Education: The Big Picture
International: Static Labour
Economics: Budget And Fudge It
Technology: Google and Campaigning
Review: Secretary With A Difference
Poetry: The Minimale
Satire: Howard Calls for Senate to be Replaced by Clap-O-Meter
The Locker Room
Response to Gould
Aged Policy Looks Hairy
God Save Billy Deane
More Bad Language
John Howard wiped the smirk off Peter Costello's face this week when Howard announced that he would stay on as Prime Minister until he was removed by a coup or hell froze over.
Howard, of course, had no other option but to remain as leader when internal Liberal Party polling showed that Costello was running a close second to a bag of rotten fish guts in the popularity stakes.
Costello, who comes from a class of men that firmly believe that their right to rule is an inherited genetic trait not to be sullied by mere detail such as competence, ability or the minutae of democracy, had dreamt of inflicting himself upon an unsuspecting public since his days as a snitching little trotskyite at university.
Fresh from describing four dollars a week as generous, our Fagin like Treasurer was visibly shaken when he faced the media with all the poise and gravitas of Shane Warne. While his obvious discomfort has brought delight to millions of Australians who actually have to work for a living, Costello's naked ambition will now, no doubt, begin to reveal itself in increasingly erratic behavior from the lying, treacherous fiasco that is the Federal Government.
"I have always put the interests of the party and the nation ahead of my own personal interests and I've been very disciplined about that and I will continue a professional, productive relationship," said Costello with a straight face.
Costello, who will go down in history as 'the man who wasn't there', will probably be overlooked for leadership in the long term in much the same way that John Howard's great idol, Elisabeth Windsor, has hung on to power to keep her loopy son off the throne. Howard, in keeping with a monarchist theme, will probably hang on until he becomes so corrupt, stagnant and cankerous as to make Tony Abbott appear an electable proposition, thus allowing the Australian people the opportunity to have Abbott and Costello running the country and reveal once and for all what a bunch of clowns the Liberal Party really are.
When Howard made his non-core promise that he would step down when he was sixty four it now appears he was, in fact, referring to the treasurer.
Naked ambition is an ugly thing. Treating the working public as dupes and expecting them to rubber stamp deals done in high places is always likely to backfire. What Costello was smoking when he thought he had the ability to lead this country is anyone's guess, but it gives an insight into the delusions that grip our power crazed Treasurer. His psychosis in this regard is not only alarming but probably also clinical. Anyone with a guffawing laugh like Costello's shouldn't be left in charge of a tennis club, let alone the country.
This embarrassing tale of glory without power could only have emerged from a government so sullied and shameless as the current regime. Our Tool Of The Week is a hapless goose who is not even trusted by his own leader (and we use the term leader loosely in this instance).
Well may our Tool Of The Week be depressed about his lot in life, but it pales into insignificance when compared to the depressing thought of him ever becoming leader of this country.
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