||Issue No. 166||14 February 2003|
A Call To Arms
Interview: Agenda 2003
Peace: The Colour Purple
Industrial: Long, Hot Summer
Solidarity: Workers Against War
Security: Howard And The Hoodlums
International: Industrial Warfare
History: Unions and the Vietnam War
Review: Eight Miles to Mowtown
Poetry: Return To Sender
Satire: CIA Recruits New Intake of Future Enemies
The Locker Room
A Tale of Two Malls
Talk Back Tom
On The Beach
Those crazy Texans are at it again. This time the most incompetent and dangerous US Ambassador in living history has launched what is the most disturbing intervention into Australian domestic politics since, well, the last disturbing intervention in Australian politics.
Democracy is obviously too precious a thing to be trusted with the people, so it falls to US Ambassador Tom Schieffer to make sure that Australians get it right. Uncle Tom emerged from the mansion that passes itself off as the US embassy to have a sook about some of the robust debate around the Oil War that's been taking place of late.
Of course the ALP is way out of line for suggesting that a megalomaniacal moron's obsession with getting his hands on cheap oil so that Americans can continue with their god given right to drive an automobile is in any way a threat to world security or the lives of Australian troops committed to the process. What the ALP is doing defending Australian interests must be a mystery to the good mandarins at Foreign Affairs. The last time the ALP did that was when it was led by the member for Werriwa, E.G. Whitlam. We all know that exercise ended in tears for Australian sovereignty.
Tom believes this is a case of good versus evil. George Bush is a good guy, Saddam is a bad guy. John Howard is a good guy, Simon Crean is a bad guy.
Schieffer claims his no-brainer contribution to the domestic debate was driven by the "personal" nature of the attacks and the "anti-American" flavour from another member for Werriwa, Mark Latham. US State Department officials are no doubt now working furiously to have the Federal Electorate of Werriwa added to the Axis of Evil. Libya, Iraq, North Korea, Leppington. It's all starting to make sense.
According to Schieffer to attack George Bush was to attack Americans. Nonetheless, to attack Saddam Hussein is not an attack on Iraqis.
Even Piers Akkerman would struggle to defend that sort of twisted logic.
Shieffer believes that the sentiment expressed by Simon Crean's embracing of the Axis of Evil was driven by "internal Labor Party politics". Well we can be glad we've sorted that out. People may have been thinking that, a hundred and forty years after we sent troops to keep China British, we were getting ourselves involved in another bloodbath that was not of our own making and has nothing to do with our interests, and had very little public support.
It's a rather unique genius that decides that our best interests are served by joining an invasion of one of our largest trading partners.
No doubt the crazy Texan sitting on the Hill keeping an eye on Australian Democracy to make sure that it remains user friendly for US interests has certainly put both of his diplomatic feet in his mouth this time, but at least this time he's honest.
The last time a Labor Leader upset US interests in this neck of the woods we had a good old fashioned bit of regime change.
It's a pity we can't organise a bit of regime change of our own.
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