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  Issue No 16 Official Organ of LaborNet 04 June 1999  

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Guest Report

Darryl Snow: Of Elvis, Reith and the Stats that Lie


You may not have heard of a bloke called Mark Textor but it's more than likely that you might recall another bloke named Elvis.

It is a matter of historical reference that the Man they called Pelvis was not only rich he was well ......fat. We also know that way before his last fateful night on the tiles Elvis used to be a truck driver and was more than likely a member of a trade union. Some recent surveys have produced statistics, if they are to be believed, that indicate we might soon be overrun by a legion of Elvis's who are fat, non union members

Like me, you would be interested to learn that there exists a whole new industry making it's presence felt in the good old USA. Not being one to stare down emerging employment prospects for retrenched workers I was captivated to learn that Elvis impersonators have a rosy future in the ever changing job market in the land of Stars and Stripes. Recent statistics indicate that if the number of Americans taking up Elvis impersonation as a vocation continues at it's present rate then, in a few short years, every man, woman and child in that country will be turning out of their driveways in a Cadillac dressed in sequined jumpsuits.

That's right, the statistics confirm that should the take-up rate of employment in the Elvis impersonators industry persist there will be over 300 million Elvis's running around in the very near future. And that's just in the US!

Accompanying that image is another foregone reality because I learned the other day that the population in the United States is 'growing' at such a rapid rate that in 30 years time everyone in the USA will be clinically obese. And it's bloody true! All these Elvis's will be waddling into an exploding number of fast food outlets where there will be no need for the sales assistant to wait until you have ordered before asking. "Would you like fries with that, Sir" Their new look customers will bloody well demand their unfettered right to fries and a whole lot more as they squeeze through the door. "I'll have double my usual order and make it snappy 'cos I'm off to see an Elvis tribute show! "

If the statistics continue to hold true then that same hamburger hand will be employed on a casual basis bound by an individual contract and de-unionised. So will the builder whose future employment will be governed by the need to regularly widen everybody's doors-including his own. And everyone will be undercutting each other's wages so that they can work and provide heaps more food for their ever growing families. It's not a pretty picture.

The future, it would seem, is crystal clear-or so the survey companies would have us believe.

Although we in Australia often follow the trends in the USA the future of your employment prospects is not as clear. The aforementioned Mark Textor is an absolute wizard at gathering statistics and, in a stroke of good fortune, we in the FBEU have been targeted to provide his company with some responses to an industrial relations survey he is distributing on behalf of the Office of the Employment Advocate (a government department formed by the statistically union -friendly Minister for Workplace Relations, Peter Reith).

The self evident truth Mr Textor and Mr Reith are trying to create is that unions are irrelevant and the only people remaining in the trade union movement have been heavied, pressured or otherwised coerced to stick with their union.

Given that firefighters in New South Wales do not operate under Federal industrial relations legislation, and being fully aware that it was Mr Textor's polling that saw Kerry Chikarovski installed as the saviour for the NSW Coalition's electoral hopes, you might think that it is Mr Textor who is struggling to find relevance.

Eager to fulfil his contract, and perhaps more eager to collect more of the many millions of dollars of taxpayer's money that Peter Reith has spotted him, a 'survey' landed in my lap the other day seeking responses to a well-weighted set of questions.

Some observers, less kind than me, have suggested that this survey was an exercise in US-style 'push polling'. That is, a survey designed to produce an outcome favourable to those who seek a statistical underpinning for a fact that otherwise cannot be demonstrated. The whole survey could have been condensed into one simple question. How best can we go about de-unionising your industry?

The covering letter made it clear that the survey is targeted at "certain industries". I might suggest that in Reith's cross-hairs are "certain industries" where the Union members have successfully gained good pay rises of late, have improved their working conditions, have healthy job growth, are well informed and organised and where the members as a result are generally responsive to their leadership. Peter Reith believes that the FBEU fits that bill.

Although we may have been found on the roof of most of Sydney's buildings after the last shower it is fair to observe that we certainly didn't come down with it. Nor did we all get hit on the head by cricket balls. Hence the need for push polling.

So what does he want? Peter Reith cannot bear the reality of contented members of a trade union. He prefers not the sweet sound of music but the voice-over at the end. Reith wants to hear the bit that goes "Ladies and Gentleman, Elvis has just left the Union".

Firies will be doing that when we look down and realise we're too fat to see our blue suede shoes.

Darryl Snow is State President of the Fire Brigade Employees' Union


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*   Issue 16 contents

In this issue
Features
*  Interview: Opening Australia
Lindsay Tanner talks about new ideas, new policy and new politics in the Information Age.
*
*  Unions: An Educated Fightback
A visiting US trade unionist reveals how training better union delegates is the key to reversing the membership slide.
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*  Legal: A Fair Case for Free-Rider Laws
The proposal to enable unions to charge non-members a service fee for negotiating enterprise agreements is consistent with the principle of freedom of association.
*
*  History: New Ideas in Labour History
See the latest from the May issue of Labour History, A Journal of Labour and Social History.
*
*  International: Tiananmen Square Ten Years On
We remember the massacre and the role that working people continue to play in fighting injustice.
*
*  Review: Organising Our Future - What Use the US??
A new paper looks at what Australian unions can learn from the experiences of their American colleagues.
*

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»  Murder Call: Charge Bosses Who Kill
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»  Braddy Bunch to Lift Contractor Veil
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»  Rural Redundacies - Redeployment Confusion Reigns
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»  Woolies Shopfitters Win Back Jobs From Body Hire
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»  Political Payback: NSW Targetted in Costello Cuts
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»  Rio Tinto Buries the Truth
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»  Child Care Campaign out of the Blocks
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»  East Timor Mercy Ship heads for Dili
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»  Fabian Society Reforms
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»  Industrial Who�s Who Head for Geneva
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Columns
»  Guest Report
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»  Sport
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»  Trades Hall
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»  Piers Watch
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Letters to the editor
»  Language is Important
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»  Kids Know Best
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»  Unions to Thank for Women's War Wages
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