||Issue No. 145||19 July 2002|
Two Wings Flapping
Interview: In The Tent
Bad Boss: The Desk Nazi
Media: Hold the Presses
Workplace: Putting Bullies In Their Place
Industrial: Women and Work
International: Whine and Dine
History: Black Adder
Review: Bad Movie
Poetry: I Remember
The Locker Room
Week in Review
Hooray for Frank!
Reform or Die
The Locker Room
Bravely Running Away
"If I had my time over again I would never be a fast bowler. It's not worth it." - Harold Larwood, English Cricketer
When I was a young lad and started showing an interest in Australian Football I was lambasted by my father who argued that Rugby League allowed a man to represent his country.
Even putting aside the fact that no one in our family was ever going to represent Australia at Rugby League, no matter how many games we played in the Penrith juniors, this statement always struck me as somewhat
Coming hot on the heels of the World Cup, League's attempt to provide international contest proved to be something of a dud. For as long as I can remember this has always been the way.
For over a generation Australian sides have belted the living crap out of all comers, except for the odd loss to the Kiwis in the wet, and those games affected by jetlag due to Australia's reluctance to stand up to international terrorism.
Given that League is hot property - outside of Queensland and the northern half of NSW - in Papua New Guinea, the eastern suburbs of Auckland, obscure parts of England's once industrial north and France's agricultural south-west I don't think that cosmopolitanism is its great strength.
Which is probably why the Australian Rugby League team was wary of the big broad world before their clash with England over the off-season.
Now the Australian Cricket team faces a similar test of character, with the upcoming test-series against Pakistan, scheduled for October, under something of a cloud.
Ruddock says it's safe over there, but Australia's cricketers - led by 'Quickie' McGrath and that great lover of poetry and red wine, Shane Warne - would beg to differ.
The ACB has also voiced its concern.
Someone is lying, either Phil Ruddock or the Australian Cricketers, or maybe both.
It would be a strange thing indeed if it's safe enough for those who came here looking to get away from the madness, but not for those who exhibit all that is strong and manly about this great land.
In these militaristic times maybe it's time for that great lover of cricket, John Howard, to show some leadership on this issue.
Australia's partner in the War On Terror, Pakistani leader General Pervez Musharraf, said he would personally intervene to pressure the Australian cricket team into touring.
Musharraf, while declaring his national team was the best in the world, said he would contact the Australian government to ensure that the tour would go ahead as originally planned in Pakistan.
Pakistan already seems to have accepted it has lost home rights for a tri-series one-day tournament between Pakistan, Australia and New Zealand slated for August-September.
The Pakistan Cricket Board said it was awaiting the green light from Australia and New Zealand to shift the series to Kenya.
Talk about playing away!
The man who is like John Wren but with a better publicity machine, Eddie McGuire, is going to find it increasingly tough to defend his 'old mate' Brad Cooper as the HIH debacle drags on. It's a sign of the times that a corporate collapse is the lead story in football circles mid-season.
I guess if you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas. Stay tuned for a Locker Room exclusive on that great Magpie loving Sydneysider and friend of football, Brad Cooper, next week.
We'll also turn our attention to the Commonwealth games, where we remember all those sports men and women that died so that we could keep China British.
Phil Doyle - looking for someone to smear his blood on late in the third quarter.
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