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Issue No. 141 | 21 June 2002 |
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Bitter Pills
Interview: The Fels Guy Solidarity: Life or Death? Unions: Back to Basics International: Global Terror History: Sorry Business Technology: Future Active Satire: Executive Presents PowerPoint Eulogy at Mother�s Funeral Poetry: Santa Claus Was Coming to Oz Review: Dial 'M' For Minority Report
The Soapbox The Locker Room Week in Review Bosswatch
 Tanya IncTom Bites BackRoot Canal Therapy
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Letters to the Editor Tom Bites Back
Dear Sir,
Constructive criticism is always a compliment and I believe, the exigent critique by Greg Pratt is no exception, so, not only do I thank him for his toil, I embrace the sincerity in which it was offered and in doing so, I while disagreeing in entirety, must acquiesce to his belief of his logic of speciality. The only improvement I could have possibly suggested would have been for Greg to have had read the letter before commenting. However, what can one reasonably expect, for when stripped of my flowery language all that is left is decrepit, autumnal and seedless pansy. But none the less, be it as a Sweet William or as Wilted Willie , I am compelled to dissent with him on quantity of content, for not only did I attempt to make more than two points, and after a review of my contribution , post Greg's critique, I know I did. Perhaps my obfuscatory syntax is in reality vociferously camouflaged rather than phlegmatically descriptive, or it may be that as a human being, rather than an imagined son of God, I have some physical, as well as character defects, like having my head stuck up my arse. Of course, in this changing world, the key word is flexibility, and my performance must be the ultimate display of flexibility for a biped... Having said that; I must confess, that I do get a tad distressed, but this distress is solely related to the distribution of wealth. Which is vastly different from the growing inequality of wealth and income in Australia, and as a cautious individual who has experienced extreme deprivation, usually through my own wilfulness of character, I still attempt to live on less than the munificent payment of $180 a week, with any excess returned to the Commonwealth. This being my contribution to reducing the overseas debt, and at times this is rather difficult without reducing my donations to charities for homeless peoples , creating a feeling of being a useless pratt. Of course, if I chose to dine during the phases when my head was actually up my arse, I could save a considerable amount on food, while simultaneously preventing substantial damage to our fragile environment through the recycling of waste products. With unloading my burdens , I must also confess, to the sin of envy; for when I see the freebies handed out at places like Woomera, Port Headland and Villawood ,these sinful feelings of envy overcome me , causing me great embarrassment while at daily confession , but not as much as having to beg from St.Vinnies for winter clothes . As for Greg's demand for division on racial lines, this is an interesting feature, which some of my immediate culturally diverse family occasionally whip me with, but on this occasion was absent from my own commentary. Greg has arbitrarily added and without merit, a facet which reveals more about the author, than the actual words which were obviously intended to disparage. However, I am sure that he has valid reasons for these thoughts. His clarion call to the "Lest we forget", foundation principle of Unionism, "An injury to one is an injury to all" is not only commendable, but something I can relate to when; during industrial battles, I found myself in a solitary solidarity position. Nevertheless, I do desperately try, even in my darkest hours to repeat this as my mantra, and believe me, after 45 minutes to an hour of prayerful chant, not only does my hunger subsides. However, as I feel the warm comforting glow come over my whole body, it is then, that I can briefly forget the lack of blankets on our beds and am thankful for all these blessings. For in what other country could the opportunity arise to be financially prudent by scavenging food from a Woolworth's Dumpster, with the money saved going toward the electric bill? Greg, I am in your debt, if only for the lifting of the veil of ignorance from my eyes, enabling me to see the true state of the nation, with its overwhelmingly altruistic population, prepared to stand by one another in their hour of need. Dear Comrade Pratt! I am also in your debt, because you have exposed a perception of myopic condition. You have reminded me of Galileo's self-promotion through notoriety gained through association by his embrace of the Copernicus heresy and his pilfering of fame through assuming ownership and invention of the telescope. An invention of which there are records of a crude model built in the 1570s by Leonard and Thomas Digges of England, and a model made Hans Lipperhey , who had settled in Middelburg , the then capital of Zeeland. Lipperhey being a German refugee fleeing Antwerp a City, which had fallen to Spanish Globalisation. In 1609, although a patent for the Telescope had been discussed in The Hague, but it was agreed that this invention would be too easy to copy, this decision later being verified by Galileo's later plagiarisms. You have also smashed the chains of paranoia that have bound my soul, since my last intimate dealings with close comrades in the Union movement. God bless you comrade Pratt! Your insight and the expression of it, has released my Soul, I can now, rip these platted thorns from my head, discard my Cross, cast off my ashes and sackcloth and cease and desist my personal flagellation. Nevertheless, I have my doubts; can I survive these personal sacrifices, and continue to shop in Oxford Street, only time will tell?
Tom Collins
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