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Issue No. 137 24 May 2002  

An Aussie Icon
The public deification of the Last Anzac, Alec Campbell, proves the adage that when you scratch the surface of an icon you'll invariably find a far more interesting reality.


Interview: Just Done It?
Nikewatch's Tim Connor gives his verdict on the global giant's latest innovation: ethics.

Tribute: Lest We Forget
Rowan Cahill goes looking for the real Alec Campbell and finds a story the Telegraph will not be publishing.

History: Solidarity Forever
Neale Towart looks at the enduring relationship between the union movement and the defence forces and finds it all comers down to solidarity.

Technology: Unblocking the Superhighway
Michael Gadiel argues the case for Open Standards as a way of breaking the grip of big business on the IT industry.

International: Gloves Off
Workers and their unions are facing a battering throughout South America as a wave of economic turmoil sweeps across the continent.

Unions: Out Of Work
Jim Marr travels to the frontline to witness the impact of the Howard Government's decision to close Employment National.

Review: Strange Business
Tara de Boehmler looks at a new flick that exposes the dark side of the Material World.

Poetry: The Lawyer's Lament
One of the big issues of recent weeks has been the explosion of insurance costs for public and community events, many of which have had to be cancelled as a result.

Satire: Government Mourns Loss Of Last Anzac
Treasurer Peter Costello has lamented the death of Alec Campbell, the last surviving ANZAC, bemoaning the lost revenue the government could have gained at his expense following the Budget.


 Workers Honour Radical Digger

 Retailers in Outworker Spotlight

 Nurses, Teachers Snare Agenda

 Syd in Vicious Backpacker Stand-off

 Microsoft Monopoly Under Challenge

 Kiddies Not Exactly Having a Ball

 NSW ALP Faces Asylum Seeker Test

 Canberra Acts on Industrial Manslaughter

 Carr Delivers on Dismissals

 Santa Claus Strikers on Christmas Island

 Abbott Believes Management Should Dictate

 Low Paid Not To Blame For Beer Price Rise

 Casino Award Covers Eastern States

 Security Workers Want Bosses Sacked

 Sydneysiders Rally For Western Sahara

 Activists Notebook


The Soapbox
The Cold Hard Truth
The Rail,Tram and Bus Union's Nick Lewocki argues our hard-hearted treatment of refugees is a betrayal of our proud immigrant history.

The Locker Room
The South Melbourne Football Club Pty Ltd
A spectre is haunting football; it is the spectre of revolution; a free market revolution, writes Phil Doyle.

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly
Jobs are under threat in the textile and trye markets; but there's better news in the Newcastle mills and the Nike factories.

Gas Treaty - The Raw Deal
East Timor is getting less then 40%ónot 90% royalties from the oil and gas revenue in the Timor Sea, reports HT Lee.

Week in Review
Origin of the Species
Phil Gould, Andrew Johns and Danny Buderus may have buried the laughable notion that Rugby Union is the sport they play in heaven, but outside Stadium Australia life goes on, as Jim Marr discovers.

 Dancing With Trotsky? Not Bloody Likely.
 Your Tools Page is Down
 Big Dave Foster
 Give Us a Click!
 Will the Real Mark Latham Please Stand Up?
 Unified Labour
 The Last Survivor
 Not Hate Mail
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The Lawyer's Lament

By David Peetz - Resident Bard

One of the big issues of recent weeks has been the explosion of insurance costs for public and community events, many of which have had to be cancelled as a result.

Some people have suggested that the explosion has been due to lawyers, and their willingness to do anything for a buck....oh...So, you're a lawyer, eh? Well, look, um, this guy whose name appears on this page, he didn't really write it. His name's just appeared here by accident. Must be a problem with the website. Actually, I don't think I'd even bother to read any further if I were you. You wouldn't find it at all interesting...


I'll tell yer of what 'appened as I walked along me way,
Down on the Queen Street mall out on a bright an' sunny day.
I chance upon a friend of mine, a friend who's far from poor,
A gentleman who earns his crust by practising the law.

'e's wearing his black gown and wig, as if 'e were mid case,
But most of all 'e wears a grimace right across his face.
I thinks "now, is the problem, that me old mate's just so tense,
From arguing, soliciting and totting up expense?"

So I says to 'im, "what's brought you down to this poor state of grace
That has you wearing this 'uge frown, why right across yer face?"
Now it ain't often you see a lawyer gag and nearly choke,
Till he says "it's all them scientists, those blokes in them white coats

They're buying up the lawyers, the ladies and the gents,
And using us in mazes and in weird experiments"
Now I'm all shocked, I says to 'im "ow could things come to that?
Ain't them the sorts of things for which they've always used them rats?"

"They'd rather use solicitors than rats, those bloody voyeurs,
In part because there's not as many rats as there are lawyers.
What's worse..." 'e 'angs 'is 'ead and says "it's sad but true,
There are some things, no matter what, that a rat just will not do."

So if you see a pack of lawyers, bustling in a race,
You'll maybe find one later, cheesy grin across 'is face.
'e'll be the one who's fastest, smartest, or whate'er they please.
Just don't ask 'im what 'e 'ad to do to get 'is brief of cheese.

[email protected]


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