E D I T O R I A L

Not So Happy Campers
It's a crude political truism: it's better to be inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in. At least for those on the inside.

F E A T U R E S

Interview: Pulling the Pin
Victorian union leader Dean Mighell outlines the thinking behind his decision to quit the ALP and join the Greens.

International: At the Crossroads
From Germany, to Britain, to South Africa, Canada and the USA it seems union members are turning on their political partners � and talking about divorce.

Unions: A Case Of Lost Identity
Victorian Trades Hall secretary Leigh Hubbard warns that more unions could leave the ALP if the current policy review hits the wrong note.

History: Rocking the Foundations
There was not just one model of what a political wing of the labour movement should be, Don Rawson writes.

Industrial: Rocky Road
Thirteen hundred Rockhampton workers are putting cars and houses on the line in an effort to beat off bully-boy tactics from Kerry Packer-owned Consolidated Meat Group.

Economics: Cracking a Coldie
As Australian icons fall around him, Neale Towart charts the rise and fall of the Great Aussie Esky.

Poetry: The Right Was Wrong
A glimpse of history shows that waterfront workers deserve the high moral ground.

Satire: Heffernan�s Evidence Conclusive: Proves He's An Idiot
The evidence released by Senator Bill Heffernan to substantiate his allegations against Justice Kirby have proved conclusively that the senator is an idiot.

Review: Upstairs, Downstairs
Robert Altman's latest movie Gosford Park is hard yakka no matter what side of the class system you sit on.

N E W S

Giant Rat Fights Cole Commission

Dodgy Bosses To Get Life

Unions Back Rugby World Cup

Queue Jumper Abbott In Cash Grab

Refugees Face Bank Imbalance

Guards Act to Plug Leaks

Rabbit Fence Leads Reconciliation to Classroom

Spy Bill Under Fire

Council Takes Up Discrimination Challenge

Power Workers To Decide Own Fate

Thumbs Up for Super Deal

G-G Warned Off State Schools

Fee Pressure Builds on Beattie

Nobel Committee 'Subordinates' Union Rights

Columbians Level Death Charges

Call To Blockade Burmese Junta

Indonesian Threat To Unions

Activist Notebook

C O L U M N S

The Soapbox
Dealing with Prejudice
Former Liberal senator Chris Puplick did not pull any punches launching a new guide for union reps dealing with discrimination issues.

The Locker Room
The Bigger They Are, The Harder They Fall
Phil Doyle tries to get sport off the front pages and back where it belongs ...

Postcard
Greetings From Lao
In the first in a new series, Union Aid Abroad's Phillip Hazelton, reports from Lao, where he is establishing a vocational training centre.

Cole-Watch
Go West
The Building Industry Royal Commission caravan has rolled into Perth.

Week in Review
Top of the Pops
Johnny Howard and his Masters of Deception kept the beat during a week in which secrecy took over from blatant fibbing as the dark art or choice, leaving the national Hit Parade looking something like this �

L E T T E R S

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Top of the Pops

Sorry Seems to Be The Hardest Word (but you can bloody well say it) .... Johnny Howard and his Masters of Deception.

The little hellraiser at his best. Strident punk opening in which longtime associate Billious Heffalump barks anti-homosexual, anti-judiciary sentiments while undermining respect for parliamentary democracy. Threatening Howard backing vocal adds power before the maestro pulls his trademark switcheroo to leave audiences bemused about just where, if anywhere, the songsmith stands on issues of principle.

Five mill, Five mill, Five mill, Five mill ..... Johnny Howard with Michael Wooldridge on his organ

The frontman's lack of respect for convention shines through in this audacious challenge to traditional views about service and responsibility, rendered to the repetitive tune of a triumphalist British football chant. Howard raises the bar by refusing to release reports into how sidekick Mike The Medic spent millions to ease his departure from the big band to a nice little earner across town.

The track title is seen as a slap in the face to "pinko do-gooders" concerned that The Medic's escape route may have been fueled by funds the Masters of Deception raised at charity gigs for asthma sufferers and rural health services.

Outrageous? Maybe not by comparison with previous offerings, but there can be no doubt it is straight from the Johnny Howard Songbook.

Here's To You Mrs Robinson ... Johnny Howard and the Liberal Caucus

Video smash because of the superbly choreographed two-finger salute which accompanies every chorus. This folksy number tells the story of how ordinary people outwit an "interfering Irish tart" who makes offensive insinuations about conditions in the guest house they operate on the edge of the South Australian desert. The owners, with a little help from kindly Americans brought in to run the place, slap about some cheap paint, plant a few trees and the trouble maker is made to look foolish. It's Howard in story-telling mode.

Guest appearance by former Masters strongman Peter Reith is a plus but the project can't shake claims of a private video featuring bodies swinging from razor wire. Knockers say faint background sounds of weeping, wailing and "something which sounds like people having the shit kicked out of them", jar with the cute lyrics.

I've Got You Babe ... The Clerics

Anglo reprise of an old Roman favourite, featuring support vocals from the anachronistically titled Head of State. The controversy rolls on.

I Wanna Get Out of This Place ... Victorian Principles

The wildly different vocal styles of Dean Mighell, Craig Johnstone and Doug Cameron suggest this novelty song will be remembered a bit longer than most of its ilk.

Mighell, famous for introducing Big Bopper Beazley to the hard-hitting Johnstone in dodgy circumstances, steals the show with a contribution that has fans divided. Some hear it as a heartfelt plea for a return to heartland values while others are convinced that, in the words of one insider, it is a "piss-take of gigantic proportions".

As per usual, Johnstone rages while Cameron treads a more melodious line. How long the "terrible trio" will hang together is a subject of intense debate amongst fellow artists and hangers-on.

If I Were A Rich Man ... Massed Farmers Choir with Chris Corrigan

"If I were a rich man

This would be my plan

Give real workers the arse

Shower the scabs with brass"

The chorus just about sums it up. While Corrigan gets his name in lights he fails to bring new understanding to one of the most controversial events in modern Australian history. Listeners can only speculate on passing references to "Reithy" and Dubai. The most telling line - "eight million is the inflated-adjusted rate for 30 pieces of silver" - only appears in the cover notes.

Hush, Not A Word To Anybody ... Johnny Howard and his Masters of Deception

This one is a fused remix of previous releases "Ankle Biters In The Drink" and "Tampa Up Solid" in which, some critics argue, the vocalist begins to give off the odour of a one-trick pony. It's predictable stuff, based on the repetitive chant "forget the lie, it's the cover-up that matters".

Howard develops the premise that if investigators are blocked from hearing the truth "it'll all be okay on the big day". The principle, he argues, applies equally to "union bums" or "towel heads in leaky boats".

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Last Modified: 15 Nov 2005