
Issue No 119		16 November 2001

LaborNET	Ask Neale	Tool of the Week

Satire

Crean 'Listens To Australian People': Will Sink Refugee Boats

Extracted from The Chaser

Simon Crean, the most likely candidate to replace Kim Beazley as Labor's leader, says he will take heed of the message sent to the ALP by Australian voters at the Federal Election.

Crean says that Labor's approach of providing detailed policy on domestic issues failed because it completely ignored the issue most relevant to voters in their everyday lives - the issue of refugees. He says he is committed to following the approach endorsed by the Australian people, and will emulate Howard in releasing only policies that relate to that one issue.

The former Shadow Treasurer has therefore committed to a new "toughest on boat people" policy that would see the Australian Navy immediately torpedoing all boats carrying refugees upon their entry into Australian waters. He has warned that that refugees constitute an ongoing threat because some Afghans will survive the bombing campaign in their homeland despite "the best efforts of the United States Air Force". Crean says that the war on boat people is simply another front in the war on terrorism, because Australians are clearly terrorised by anyone whose skin colour is not white.

The likely Labor leader also criticised John Howard for the "soft" approach he had taken to refugees by simply "palming them off" to other countries in the region. "Howard's approach does not neutralise the threat they pose because it permits boat people to remain alive," Crean said. He has committed himself to "finishing the job" as Prime Minister, and would therefore pursue boat people by invading Nauru, Kiribati and New Zealand. "Only by hunting down boat people wherever they are, and in many cases before they've even boarded their boats, can the right of the Australian people to determine who comes into this country be fully respected," he said.

   Visit The Chaser

  View entire issue - print all of the articles!

  Issue 119 contents

Interview: Out of the Rubble
Michael Costa argues that Saturday's election result could have been much, much worse.

Unions: Sixty-Forty Are Good Odds!
John Robertson argues that while there may be many problems with the ALP, union power is not one of them.

Politics: Wrong Way, Go Back
Labor's failure in the federal election is the result of more than bad luck. It is the result of a shift to populism that has left the Party bereft of core principles.

Campaign Diary: Week Five: All Washed Up
If you can stand it, relive the fatefull final week of a most remarkable election campaign.

International: Trade Piracy Unmasked
As the trade barons met in Qatar to chart out their agenda, George Monbiot looks at the machinations behind the scenes.

Factions: The Party's Over
Chris Christodoulou renews his call for a breakdown of the factional system to bring new life into the ALP

History: The Fall-Out
Neale Towart looks back to Labor's reaction to its loss in the 1954 'Petrov election' and finds warnings for today's post mortem.

Media: Elite Defeat
Rowan Cahill looks at the intellectual paucity in the PM's ongoing attacks on 'elite opinion'.

Satire: Crean 'Listens To Australian People': Will Sink Refugee Boats
Simon Crean, the most likely candidate to replace Kim Beazley as Labor's leader, says he will take heed of the message sent to the ALP by Australian voters at the Federal Election.

» Unions Call for Border Review

» Compo Fire Reignites as Bill Hits Deck

» Workers Unite Over Corporate Power

» Day Three: Telstra Privatisation Begins

» Primus Deal Marks New Era in Telcos

» Qantas Staff Cuts Condemned

» Bank Workers Seek Proxies for AGMs

» Blokes Stand Up For The Ladies

» Landmark Community Services Win

» Anger at Sartor's Power Grab

» Consumer Boycott Call for Sugar Co-op

» Apprentices Win Parity with Uni Students

» Competition for Nurses Hots Up

» CFMEU Launches Bunny Club

» ICFTU Reveals 250 Companies in Burma

» Activists Notebook

» STOP PRESS: No Democracy at Telstra AGM